


Craving

by awekashi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Action, Angst, Bokuaka - Freeform, Crime, Fluff, Horror, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, KageHina - Freeform, M/M, Mystery, Paranormal, Schizophrenia, bokuroo - Freeform, if you even consider this horror lol, oisuga
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2018-12-15 23:25:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 26
Words: 35,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11816391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awekashi/pseuds/awekashi
Summary: "It's been done. I...I did it, just like you asked me to do. I did it for you."In which a man loses a smile he craves to have back.





	1. Alleyway Apologies

The alleyway seemed too quiet as they made their way through the shady area, their shoes slapping against the wet pavement and their left arm grazing against the walls as they walked. They held in a grimace as the imprint of dust and sludge was left against their pullover sleeve, shaking their arm around a bit to get some of the residue off. When they realized that it was no use, they huffed and gave up. 

 

They shrugged their shoulder and drifted further through the alleyway, their eyes drifting around to search for any possible bystanders as they took in their surroundings. Their gaze snapped forward at the sound of a few murmurs a few feet away and they gripped their chest out of nervousness, already feeling their heart pound at the pressure flooding their system. 

 

 

They peered around the corner, watching as the two murmurers smoke in silence, hanging off of the gates of the housing area sluggishly. One of the men looked their way, causing them to gasp and quickly duck out of sight, huddling behind the front wall of the alleyway entrance. The man blinked their way a few times, continuing to stare for a few moments, before turning away to take another puff of his cigarette. 

 

 

They waited for a few seconds, eying the two men in panic, before leaning back against the wall behind them and sighing in relief. They felt like a skeptical, covered from head to toe and hiding within the alleyway. They pondered for a moment, thinking of a way to look less suspicious when they would walk out of the alley. 

 

 

Shaking their head, they pulled out their phone to pretend texting, hoping to not catch too much attention. They reached behind themselves to pat their back pocket, feeling the grooves of the item curved and cold within their grasp. With a nod of their head, they tucked the item back into their pocket and began to walk out. 

 

 

Tying away at the phone they held in their hand, they pretended to text a friend and made their way out into the open street. Bright street lights flickered above them and they couldn't help but shrink further into their hoodie.

 

 

A few people were speaking amongst themselves in front of houses or inside of their cars, silent but stern, making them venture away from the other side of the street. They didn't want any unwanted attention drawn to themselves. 

 

 

When their feet managed to hit a sidewalk, they grinned, ignoring the feeling of guilt twisting inside of their stomach, and approached their destination silently. There was a large row of houses and apartment rentals in front of them, some lights dim and other's off or bright. They looked to their left and inhaled deeply, feeling their pulse quicken. 

 

 

The house on the far left, at the very end of the street, was still bright and awake. The curtains were closed, but the light from inside was seeping through the cloth hanging from the window pane. They bit their lip, feeling the guilt at the pit of his stomach rising. 

 

 

"So, he'll be awake, huh?" They whispered to themselves, swallowing back the bile rising in their throat. They watched the window as they walked for a few more moments, feeling their stomach tighten at the sight of a silhouette walking back and forth behind the curtains. 

 

 

Nodding to themselves, they stopped and stood beside a bush and pulled their cellphone closer towards their face. They typed out a haste message and sent it out, hoping the receiver would act quick to their message, and shoved it back into their pullover pocket. They let their fingers brush over the item in the back of their pocket again, gently making sure it was in the right position, and they proceeded to walk forward. 

 

 

Tip-toeing up the steps, their sneakers barely brushing against a few plants that sat out as they went by, they approached the front door and gulped. They inhaled deeply, feeling their lungs scream at the harsh intake, and knocked softly, trying their best not to knock so hard that they'd disrupt the houses around them.

 

 

They waited silently as the person inside shuffled to get to the door, listening to the padding of feet and clicks of the door locks. The doorknob squeaked a bit, twisting obnoxiously, and out came a man, tall and smiling brightly. The guilt pulsated around their stomach harder.

 

 

"Hey!" He greeted, motioning for them to come inside. He stepped back, letting them walk through and he moved his arm out to shut the door but they stopped him quickly, eyes wide as they watched the door pause from closing. The man looked up at them curiously, head tilted to the side, and walked further into the house. 

 

 

"Do you have to go soon or something?" He asked, leaning against the wall behind him. "Is everything alright? It's been so long since–"

 

 

"Yeah, I have someone waiting for me a few blocks down." They explained, somewhat truthfully. "I was in the area and I remembered that I had something to show you!" They exclaimed, grinning falsely and nodding their head in excitement. 

 

 

The man's lips twitched, spreading out into a large grin and he leaned forward, eyes drifting downwards to watch as they moved their hands down and towards their back pocket. 

 

 

"Okay, close your eyes," they told him, earning a small pout from the other. They huffed, rolling their eyes and motioned for the man to do as he said. The man groaned softly and closed his eyes, making the knot in their stomach tighten. 

 

 

They gripped the item inside of their pocket tightly with shaky hands, positioning their finger against the trigger, and slipped it out quickly, holding it out in front of them and tightening their fingers around the item. They felt tears pool at the corner of their eyes, guilt finally consuming them, and they breathed out shakily, watching the man smile excitedly, his eyes closed and unaware. _His last smile._

 

 

_"I'm so sorry, Bokuto."_

 

 

They watched as the man's eyes drifted open slowly, as of time were about to stop and gave him another chance to think, and he snapped the item forward and pressed down, holding it down harshly.

 

 

Loud, consistent pops sounded off throughout the whole house, echoing out into the air outside, and they watched as the walls seemed to move and sway with the figure in front of them, dragging them down to the floor.

 

 

Panting harshly, they swallowed down the knot forming in their throat and they quickly slid the item back into their pocket, running out of the area before they could be seen. 

 

 

Their feet stumbled beneath them, slapping against the wet road as they sprint past a few houses that were suddenly waking up and growing louder with every step they took. Their eyes widened and they began to run faster, their legs burning as they continued. 

 

The sound of tires sped up behind him, squeaking against the road, and the sound of the car came to a halt. They glanced behind them, grinning in relief, and dashed towards the open door of the passenger seat. The man inside slammed down onto the gas pedal as soon as they shut the door, speeding down the road in search for the country road. 

 

"You alright?" He asked, gritting his teeth as he swerved around a turn.

 

They nodded, breathless. "Yeah. I'm alright." 

 

 

"How'd it go?" 

 

 

The knot tightened, making them close their eyes and double over slightly. 

 

 

"...Good." They bit their lip and ignored the questions the man beside him asked, instead listening to the sound of the tires burning against the road. 

 

They let their eyes drift back, ignoring the odd, sticky feeling against their hands, and thought back to the event that had just occurred. They replayed the scene, feeling their hands shake, and they repeated their words to themselves subconsciously. 

 

_'I'm so sorry, Bokuto.'_

 

 

The thought of Bokuto smiling brightly at them in response drifted to the back of their mind and the image slowly dimmed, burning up and shriveling into nothing as they drifted to sleep, letting the guilt finally engulf them.


	2. Unlucky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From: Pita :)  
>  **Subject: RE: [Drop by?]**  
>  _Do you miss me already Keiji-chan? (*ﾉ∀'*)_
> 
>  
> 
> To: Pita :)  
>  **Subject: [Nvm]**  
>  _Not really no_

_"It's been done."_

_"I...I killed him. Just like you asked me to, I did it for you. He's dead."_

_"Do you think they'll find us?"_

_"How long d'ya think it takes 'em to figure it out?"_

_"I'm so sorry."_

_"...I killed him."_

 

**\- - -**

 

Akaashi Keiji found miracles to be, well, childish and unnatural. Sure, he thinks, you can end up finding cash on a sidewalk as you wait for your ride, but that isn't much of a miracle. That's just pure luck. If you happen to suddenly find the password to an account you've been searching for, forgotten due to your horrible memory, that's not an example of a miracle, either. You happened to just get lucky that day. 

 

Having a few lucky moments here and there is a normalcy in life, whereas receiving frequent miracles isn't so casual and easy to take in. Most people take miracles for granted and waste what they've been given. Others, they choose to cherish it. 

 

Either way, Keiji simply does not care. 

 

Anyway, finish the housework–right. The brunette had yet to fold the laundry, put the dishes away, and clean the living room. He dreaded it, saving it for last when he saw the state of the room. His friends had left a few clothing items sprawled out randomly on the love seat, couch, and floor near the kitchen entrance last night. Video game controllers and opened cases lie next to each other on the floor with a few bags of unopened chips and sweets. Unfortunately, some bags were open and happened to spill sugar into the carpet. 

 

Keiji leaned his head back, popping his shoulders, and sighed. He set down the empty laundry basket he was holding next to love seat and pulled out his phone, hissing softly when his fingers rubbed against the cold button of his pants. Keiji pulled up one of his friend's number, scrolling through their previous messages that consisted of, 'I hate you's' and 'thank you's, and began typing in a sarcastic message. 

 

To: Pita :)  
**Subject: [Thanks]**  
_I love how you decorated my living room._

 

Chuckling to himself, Keiji clicked his phone off and closed his eyes, tapping it idly against his chin. His phone buzzed, vibrating against his skin and he smiled, scrolling to read his response. 

 

From: Pita :)  
**Subject: RE: [Thanks]**  
_I have pretty great taste when it comes to decor, I know. Kidding! U don't have to clean it up if u don't want to. Want me to come by??_

 

The brunette smiled, typing in a quick, 'no' before sliding his phone back into his pocket. He'd be okay cleaning it for his friend just this once. Next time, though, Tooru will learn that when he invites himself over and also invites others over, he cleans the aftermath. Picking up the basket he had put aside, Keiji reached for a sweater that lied on the couch and began to clean the room. Although, the brunette didn't clean it completely without sending Tooru a quick picture of him munching on his favorite jelly candies that he had left out to dry. 

 

He didn't regret sending out the silly text when he received a flustered response from the other consisting of something along the lines of, "KEIJIIII THOSE ARE MINE DON'T EAT THOSE!! YOU'RE SO MEAN TO ME I HATE YOU" with a few more gibberish typos that he couldn't understand. 

 

 

Keiji held his phone against his chest, making sure it wouldn't fall, as he picked up a few more clothing items off of the floor, tossing them into the basket as he went along the room. He surveyed the area after he scooped up what seemed to be the hundredth candy wrapper, pushing them into the trash can with a disgusted scowl.

 

He could feel the reminisce of the sticky sugar against the tips of his fingers and he couldn't help but grimace. Keiji stretched his fingers apart from each other and watched as the sugar stuck in between his fingers, deciding not to separate. Sighing, he decided to venture off into the kitchen and quickly wash his hands before scolding Tooru for the mess.

 

Keiji set the laundry basket down beside the sink and began to run the water through his fingers, scrubbing at the residue stuck to his skin. He reached out and turned off the faucet, huffing, and dried off his hands so he could grab his phone again. Keiji slowly walked into the living room as he typed, snickering to himself as he watched his friend throw a fit.

 

To: Pita :)  
**Subject: [Drop by?]**  
_Hey, can you really come by?_

 

From: Pita :)  
**Subject: RE: [Drop by?]**  
_Do you miss me already Keiji-chan? (*ﾉ∀'*)_

 

To: Pita :)  
**Subject: [Nvm]**  
Not really no 

 

From: Pita :)  
**Subject: RE: [ Nvm ]**  
_i haHE YOu_

 

From: Pita :)  
**Subject: RE: RE: [ Nvm ]**  
_**haTE_

 

Keiji shook his head and laughed. He pulled his eyes away from his phone screen and ran his palm across his forehead, glancing around the room one more time. Deciding that the room was clean enough and decent, he nodded his head and picked up his cleaning supplies off of the floor and stood up to put them away. 

 

He murmured out a string of familiar lyrics and bobbed his head as he walked further into the house, shoving away a few items into drawers as he went by. Keiji bent down onto his knees and opened up the cabinet below him, placing the basket he was holding inside. Clicking the cabinet closed, he sighed and pat down his sweater. 

 

He walked back into the kitchen and eyed it down as he leaned back against the counter behind him. He shivered, suddenly feeling cold where he was standing. Keiji looked towards the window above his head, looking through the few plants that hung there, noticing that the window was completely closed.

 

Shrugging off the feeling, he leaned up and off of the counter and made his way towards the laundry room to pack up Tooru's clothes. Another chill shot up his arm, making him flinch in surprise. He quickly turned around, looking up the walls in search for an open window around the house. He peered down the hall, grasping the end of his sweater in his hands and turned back around. 

 

"T-shirt, pullover, t-shirt, t-shirt...and t-shirt. He has such a problem," Keiji mumbled to himself as he folded Tooru's clothes and set them into the bag that was on top of the dryer. His fingers brushed across another graphic t-shirt, making him roll his eyes, and he smiled, taking in the design in front of him. 

 

_"I want to believe,"_ he whispered, tracing over the soft, bold lettering. Folding the shirt and setting it aside, he closed up the dryer door and set his elbows on top of it, resting his chin against his palms. Keiji closed his eyes and took in the silence of the room. 

 

He smiled to himself, tilting his head to the side as he thought. He could hear the ringtone on his phone going off faintly from somewhere in the house, making him open his eyes again and sigh. He quickly tied the bag together and carried it with him as he searched for his phone, following the sound as it grew louder. He eventually found it hidden inside the seat of the couch, stuck in between two cushions from slipping through, and he plucked it out to answer it. He must've forgotten it when he went back into the living room.

 

"Hello?" He asked, listening to the loud static shriek from the other end. 

 

_"Keiji,"_ a familiar rough and distant voice spoke through the phone, making his eyebrow quirk up. 

 

"Tobio? Hey, what's–"

 

_"Get your ass down here, Akaashi, we've got some work to do."_

 

He felt his heat stutter a the tone of his friend's voice, feeling his blood go cold. "What happened?" 

 

"There's been a murder." 

 

Keiji gripped his phone tightly and rushed around the room to find his things. He spoke to Tobio as he shuffled through his room, not caring if all the raven could hear was static. He pulled on his jacket and walked out the door, listening to the man's voice as he pestered him to hurry up. He quickly unlocked his car, rushing to get inside, and closed the door beside him. 

 

Tobio spoke through gritted teeth as Keiji backed out of his drive way, telling him to not be reckless and put the phone into his lap. Ignoring the other man and only partly listening to him, he set his phone in between his thighs and quickly got onto the road. He neglected the odd feeling in the pit of his stomach and drove through a green light, eying the cars beside him, and switched lanes. He could hear Tobio shuffling through papers over the other line, mumbling to himself about something as he drove. 

 

He turned down a few more roads, looking around for a parking space as he drove into the building parking lot. He could hear Tobio's voice drift through the phone when he said that he arrived, the line hanging up with a click, and Keiji rushed to get out of the car. He pressed down onto his keys to lock the car as he jogged towards the station doors, pulling on them and swinging them open.

 

Keiji's eyes wandered throughout the room, ignoring the eyes raking over him as he ran down the aisle to his and Tobio's office. He slammed the door open, seeming to startle said man at his desk, who quickly looked up from the papers he was holding to look up at Keiji.

 

Panting, he closed the door behind him and walked up to Tobio's desk, sitting down into the chair placed in front of it. Opening his mouth, ready to ask about the situation, Tobio raised his hand and silenced him before he could speak. 

 

"I, uh," the raven started out, stumbling over his words. "...I don't know what to say." 

 

Keiji watched in silence, curious as Tobio recollected his thoughts, rubbing his forehead absently. 

 

"I apologize in advance for what I'm about to say to you." Tobio began again, making Keiji's hands tremble in his lap. "Kou...Koutarou was killed last night." 

 

Keiji made a choked off sound, gripping the chair tightly and leaning over the desk. Tobio, startled, stood up and rushed over to his side, patting his back. "Hey, Keiji, sit up, man. _Sit up."_

 

Keiji choked as he inhaled deeply, trying to wrap his head around what he was just told. " _Please_ , tell me you're joking."

 

Tobio frowned, shaking his head slowly. Keiji pressed his hands up onto his chest and closed his eyes, feeling tears pool in the corner of his eyes. He sobbed, slamming his free hand down onto Tobio's desk, and then proceeded to slam his head down against the desk, sobbing into the cold wood. Shaking, he looked up through his tears and asked, "how?" _Why?_

 

Tobio stood above him silently, gazing down at him sadly as he continued to cry. Keiji growled lowly under his breath, sitting up straight. "How the hell did it happen?" He asked again, his patience running thin. 

 

"Koutarou was...shot multiple times." Tobio explained, voice growing thick as he continued. Keiji hiccupped around his tears, rubbing his fists across his face. "He died last night at four in the morning. Medics tried, Keiji, they tried _so hard_ but they couldn't...they couldn't help him. He's dead." 

 

"I'm so sorry, Keiji. I'm so sorry." 

 

Keiji felt his heart shrivel up and collapse, dropping to his stomach. His eyes hazed over in colors, shutting drowsily. 

 

_'He's dead.'_

 

He always considered himself unlucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pita means "pain in the ass" btw. (I had to, okay.)


	3. Uknown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "No, Tobio," Keiji whispered, almost inaudible. Tobio frowned. "I want to– _need_ to do this."

"Bokuto..." Tobio drawled out, flipping through the packet in his hands, "Bokuto Koutarou, was murdered this morning, correct?"

 

Keiji nodded, biting back the swell in his throat and the damp feeling against his eyelashes. He had yet to fully calm down from his breakdown earlier, but he tried his best to hold in any tears as he sat in his seat behind his desk. The brunette shuffled in his seat stiffly.

 

"Yes, you told me this earlier. He was shot multiple times in the chest," he explained, tossing the raven a half-way tapped file. Tobio threw Keiji a quick glance, in which the brunette ignored, and tore through the file papers. 

 

"Damn," the raven grit out, dragging his finger down the page as he read. "Eight gun wounds to the chest...I didn't know it was this bad when they told me the news earlier." 

 

Keiji sniffled, leaning back into his chair. "Don't forget the two gunshot wounds in his right forearm." He sat up straight and bent over his desk, picking up a few papers that were sprawled out against the desk. He peered down at the scribbled writing through his reading glasses, feeling remorse. 

 

His eyes flickered up to the other, who had moved on from the first file he was given and was going through a few others. Tobio paused, his fingers frozen on a single sheet. His eyes met Keiji's and he let out a deep exhale. 

 

"No finger prints have been found?" He said, almost questioning the information he just read, "not a single piece of evidence bedsides the bullets?" 

 

"That's exactly what the report says," Keiji replied. "Insane, right? I suspect that whoever killed K-Koutarou thought this out for a while. It was as if...no one touched anything at all during the act."

 

"What about the entrances?" Tobio interrupted, lowering the paper he was holding away from his face for a moment. "No fingerprints were around the doors or windows?"

 

"Aone's still looking into the scene as we speak and...I've actually been thinking about going down there. J-Just once, to look over everything before it's identified as an unsolved murder. After the bullets are examined and results are given, we won't know what gun was used on the victim, either." 

 

 _"Hell,"_ the raven beside him grit out, putting the papers down. "Do we know of Koutarou's whereabouts that day? Any phone records? Where the hell is the phone he had?" 

 

"So many questions," Keiji murmured to mostly himself, tapping his pen against his lips absently. "The phone records are being searched through later today. Tsukishima said it'll take about four hours to complete before we have audio and print outs to review. As for Koutarou's whereabouts...we'll know after calling up a few people and going through the phone."

 

Tobio sighed and shifted back in his chair, sitting in silence for a moment. "...how's Tetsurou?" 

 

Keiji felt his stomach knot at the name and his fingers tightened around his pen. "He's been bawling his eyes out since this morning." 

 

"Poor guy," Tobio replied, voice strained. "I can't imagine how he's feeling right now. If Shouyou were to ever..." he cleared his throat and rested his chin against his palms. "If this were to ever happen to me, if I was ever in Tetsurou's position, I don't know what I'd do." 

 

"Ah, speaking of Shouyou," Keiji butted in, hoping to make the conversation lighter, and trying his damned best to not let the lump in his throat escape, "is he still going on about the cliché 'donut cop' theory of his?" 

 

Tobio chuckled under his breath and shook his head at the thought of his fiancé's antics. "Unfortunately, yes. Every morning before work he has at least one question to ask me. It's always the same damn question, too. _'Do cops constantly stop for donuts while on the job? Or is that just a rumor? If it's not, is it hard applying to be a cop?'"_

 

Tobio groaned lightly, making Keiji laugh lightly. "He doesn't understand. He's an absolute idiot." Keiji threw him a look, murmuring out, 'and you aren't?' in which he received another glare. 

 

"Over the years I've learned how to ignore him, though."

 

"What a wonderful husband you'll be," Keiji joked.

 

"Of course," Tobio replied, standing up from his chair. "I'll be the best husband anyone could ever ask for."

 

"Mhm," Keiji hummed, teasing the raven. "Sure. Keep telling yourself that. One day Shouyou will believe it, too." 

 

"Screw you."

 

"No, thank you." 

 

Tobio laughed as he walked across the room, opening up a few of the file drawers to the left of his desk in search for a certain stack of papers he needed. Keiji zoned out for a moment, staring down at his desk, and he blinked suddenly as a thought came to mind.

 

"Hey, Tob..." the raven perked up at the sound of his name and nodded his head towards his partner, looking over at him in curiosity. "I'm curious as to how the suspect got in. If there were no DNA traces found on any door knob or any accessible entrance, how'd the person find access to even reach Koutarou? If they were already in, they must've known him, don't you think?"

 

Tobio's eyes widened at the thought and he paused for a moment. 

 

Keiji noticing this, continued, adding, "but to get out, they'd need to touch something...yet no fingerprints were found." 

 

"So," Tobio started, taking in Keiji's words, "you're saying that someone, possibly a friend or family member, did this?"

 

"I'm not really sure," the brunette pondered, closing his eyes to think. "It makes no sense." 

 

"There's one way to figure that out," Tobio said, pulling on his jacket. He fixed his collar and looked over at Keiji as he walked over towards the office door. 

 

Tobio sighed, face growing solemn. "Are you sure about this?" He asked. 

 

"About what?" Keiji replied, tossing his pen on his desk as he shuffled through his things. 

 

"About going down there? We could always ask Aone–"

 

"No, Tobio," Keiji whispered, almost inaudible. Tobio frowned. "I want to– _need_ to do this." 

 

The raven stood silently for a moment. "Alright," he muttered, walking out of the door. 

 

"Alright," Keiji whispered to himself, squeezing his eyes closed. _"Alright."_


	4. Static

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keiji cursed under his breath, feeling tears drip down his cheeks. "I loved him so much," he admit hoarsely. "He loved me, too."

"You shouldn't hide your emotions," Tobio said, suddenly as he drove, his eyes glued to the road. Keiji flinched at the abrupt statement, turning away to look out the window. 

 

"I know," he replied. "But it makes things easier." 

 

"How so?" 

 

"Nobody has to know how I feel–"

 

"I know you loved him, Keiji." Tobio interrupted, his voice strained. Keiji's misty eyes drifted away from the window and landed on Tobio. Taking in his partner's silence, the raven continued. "Most of us knew that you and Koutarou had...something special. Something more than what he and Tetsurou–"

 

"May I remind you that Tetsurou was Koutarou's _fiancé?_ There was nothing between Bokuto and I. You all were just imagin–imagining things."

 

Keiji cursed at his stutter under his breath, feeling fresh tears drip down his cheeks. He knew he couldn't lie to the man beside him. "I loved him so much," he admit hoarsely. "He loved me, too." 

 

Tobio's eyes widened, but he didn't say anything. He squint at the road, glancing at the brunette in the passenger seat from the corner of his eye every once in a while. 

 

"I think Tetsurou knew that, too." He finally said, breaking the silence. "Those two met in their first year of high school and they started...fading in their third year. Shouyou talked to me about the things Koutarou would say. He almost called it quits a few months before graduation because he was having second thoughts, but he didn't. I don't know why. He seemed so sure at the time. Shouyou knows why he didn't, but...I don't." 

 

With his eyes wide and mouth agape, Keiji stared silently at the man beside him.

 

"Shouyou knew all 'bout Koutarou's thoughts. About you, I mean. He'd go on about you. I...it actually helped me out with Shouyou at the time. Koutarou was a won–wonderful man, Keiji."

 

Keiji sniffled. "He was."

 

"And he loved you."

 

"He loved Tetsuro," Keiji replied, wiping at his eyes. "They were dating for years, got engaged, and–and I wasn't apart of that. Koutarou and I–we fooled around sometimes but..."

 

"But?" Tobio pressured, parking the car. 

 

"I kept telling him no. I told him that Tetsurou loved him very much and he kept saying he didn't understand." Keiji inhaled shakily, leaning his head back against the seat. "When, um, when we were messing around during our third year, I ended up breaking everything off. He ended up telling me how he pictured our lives, together, and I left."

 

"Why?" Tobio whispered, staring at Keiji intensely. "Why'd you leave when you knew that you could've been so happy?" 

 

"Because he was in a relationship," Keiji choked out, his voice growing higher. "He was in a beautiful relationship with someone he knew for years and I was the one who was corrupting that. They deserved to be happy and in order for that to happen, I needed to leave. So...I did." 

 

"Keiji..." the raven started, trailing off. "I don't know what to say." 

 

"Then don't say anything," the brunette replied, wiping away stray tears. "There's nothing to say. Koutarou's gone and I shouldn't be here doing nothing. I should be figuring this shit out." 

 

Tobio rolled his shoulders and clicked open his door, leaning back to look at Keiji again. "One more question," he muttered. "Just one." 

 

 

Keiji nodded, slowly picking up his things to step out of the car. 

 

 

"What happens when they start planning the funeral?" Tobio asked, keeping his voice low. "What then?"

 

"I go," Keiji replied, stepping out of the car. "I go as a friend."

 

Tobio followed Keiji, locking up his car and jogging down the pathway to catch up with the brunette. His eyes trailed down the sidewalk, stopping on the scene before them. His shirt seemed to suddenly feel too tight. By the look Keiji gave him from the corner of his eye, Keiji seemed to feel the same way. 

 

"You ready?" He asked, patting Keiji's back, hoping to somewhat comfort his friend. 

 

Keiji smiled softly, appreciating the touch and cleared his throat. "Yeah."

 

The two ventured down the sidewalk and approached the various vehicles surrounding the small house in front of them, eying down the three cop cars at the side of the house. Keiji lifted up his arm, waving it outwards, and watched as a tall figure noticed him by the doorway of the house. Aone waved them over, motioning for them to come inside and Keiji felt himself grow cold. 

 

 

Ignoring the sudden rush of memories that bottled up in his head, Keiji shook his head and walked up the steps with Tobio at his side. Keiji paused, his eyes widening. The doorway was ajar, measurements taken and scribbled down against the frame and tape secured against it. When his eyes drifted further into the house, he could feel himself grow nauseous.

 

It was as if red paint had been spilt and hit something, splattering against the walls of the entrance hall. Two vases had fallen, the flowers long gone and shriveled up on the floor, painted dark red. Numbers were scattered across the floor, written out and placed in various spots, making him flinch. It outlined a figure, and he couldn't help but choke against the bile in his throat.

 

 

Koutarou once lied there, suffering. He couldn't do _anything._

 

 

Koutarou had once kissed him in greeting there. 

 

 

He had said goodbye to him there. 

 

 

"Aone," he choked out, catching the man's attention from the corner of the doorway, "where's Tsukishima?" 

 

 

"He's in the first car outside, on the left. He's searching through the victims phone log." The white haired man replied, shuffling past Keiji and walking around the room. 

 

 

"Thanks," he replied, quickly ducking behind the security tape, ignoring Tobio's questionable look, and searched for Tsukishima's car. He walked down the sidewalk, looking around towards the left, and approached the police car in front of him. The passenger seat window was open half ways and soft mumbling and fingers tapping against keys could be heard from inside. Keiji opened the passenger door and slid inside, ignoring the small squeal he received. 

 

 

"Keiji," the blonde beside him spoke out, voice monotone and clear of the earlier embarrassment he felt when Keiji startled him. He was paused mid way from typing on the laptop in his lap, which was projecting a few different files on the screen. 

 

 

The brunette nodded in acknowledgement, leaning towards the screen in Tsukishima's lap. "Have you found anything?" He asked, squinting at the screen. 

 

 

"In a way, yes." The blonde replied, looking away and focusing down onto his laptop. "Three calls were taken and made around the time of the incident. The calls were taken..." he tapped on a few keys, his eyes drifting down the screen. "They were taken in between twenty and thirty minutes before the actual event occurred." 

 

 

He turned the laptop around, facing it towards Keiji, and pointed at a section of documents. He clicked on it, zooming in on Koutarou's cellphone list. 

 

 

"Who..." Keiji leaned over closer. "He received these phone calls, not made them, right?" 

 

 

"Exactly," Tsukishima replied. "Two of these calls were made by the same person and one of them was someone else." 

 

 

"Do you know who the caller's are?" Keiji asked, reaching out towards the dash of the car and ripping out a random paper to scribble the numbers on to. The blonde shook his head, reaching into his pocket to retrieve his phone. He scrolled through his phone, tapping onto his dial pad, and glanced up at Keiji. 

 

 

"I'm going to call the two numbers and ask a few questions," he said, typing in the first number. "Are you okay with staying here–"

 

 

"Yes," Keiji interrupted quickly, listening to the sound of the phone dialing through the static. Tsukishima nodded stiffly, leaning back against his seat, and opened up a new, blank document on his laptop. 

 

 

"Hello?" He asked the other line. "My name is Tsukishima Kei and I'm a detective from Tokyo's Police Management down town. I'm currently looking into..."

 

 

Keiji closed his eyes, muting out Kei's voice. He could faintly hear the static from the other line, low and soft. He could also hear Kei's fingers tapping idly against the keyboard, adding in the information he was being given. He wished he knew what was being said, but at the same time, he didn't. 

 

 

"...alright, thank you. I'll be contacting you soon. Have a nice day." Kei hung up, rolling his shoulders, and dialed in another number before Keiji could ask him anything. Keiji sighed.

 

 

"...hello, I'm Tsukishima Kei..."

 

 

Kei's fingers halted, his hands suddenly gripping the sides of his laptop and turning it towards Keiji quickly. Caught off guard by the movement, Keiji jumped and looked down at the screen, his eyes flickering up to the blonde as he spoke through the phone. Kei pointed down at the screen, motioning for Keiji to read. The brunette squint his eyes and read over Kei's notes, his eyes growing wide with confusion and interest. 

 

 

_"Kozume Kenma and Kuroo Tetsurou."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man oh man


	5. Patience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"What happens when they start planning the funeral?"_
> 
>  
> 
>    
>  _"I go as a friend."_

They couldn't help but feel as if they were being watched. With the way time moved as slow as the cars that passed by them as walked down the street, and the way that people seemed to look at them as if they knew, made them anxious. They knew what they did. But no one else did. But they will eventually, and that made them nervous. They were constantly reassured that no one would know about what they did. They were told to keep hidden and stay completely normal, as if nothing had happened two nights prior, as if they did nothing. 

 

But they _did_ do something. 

 

They shuddered, shoving their sweaty hands deeper into their coat pockets. They somehow felt as if their hands were still stained red. _'I'm a murderer,'_ they thought to themselves, feeling themselves shrink back and grow panicked. _'I killed him.'_

 

Their mind replayed the scene over and over, digging the images deeper into their thoughts. They whimpered. _'Relax,'_ they tried to calm themselves, _'you only did as he told you to do. You did good. You did it for him.'_

 

"No," they whispered, their voice distant. "There's nothing good about this _at all."_

 

Their steps grew quicker, slapping against the pavement plangently as they hasted towards their destination with their heart jumping sporadically inside of their chest. Dodging a few people who walked around them, they shoved their way through the early morning crowds and made their way up the stairs to the hotel they were currently inhabiting in. 

 

 

The woman at the front desk smiled politely at them, nodding her head in greeting as they passed her. She wouldn't be smiling so gently at them if she knew what they had done. Chuckling bitterly, they made their way towards the elevator, slipping in before the doors could shut them out, and leaned against the wall with a small huff.

 

 

They checked their phone silently, hoping to pass the time as the elevator slowly made its way upwards, and quickly put it away as soon as the doors clinked open, reading that they had reached their floor, level eight. They stepped out of the confined space of the elevator, listening to the doors ding close behind them and walked down the rows of doors ahead of them. They mumbled out numbers as they went, their fingers playing with the keys in their hands as they searched for their room. 

 

 _"138...140...157."_ They sighed in relief, feeling their bones grow warm at the feeling of being back into their own space. They unlocked the door and tossed the keys into the dark randomly, flicking on the light beside them. The room flickered and filled with light, making them smile softly at the familiarity. They slipped off their shoes and shrugged off their jacket, putting them on the table beside the doorway, and walked further into the apartment. 

 

"Hey," a voice greeted, making them gasp and flinch back against the wall beside them. The voice laughed loudly, making them growl. The voice grew soft then, saying, "welcome back."

 

They scowled. "What a nice welcome. Thanks."

 

"So sassy," the man sitting at the kitchen table replied, leaning back against his chair. They eyed him warily, almost bored, and walked over to the kitchen cabinets. The man smiled. "How was work?" 

 

"Oh, you know," they hummed out, annoyed. "Considering that I killed someone two days ago, work went great." 

 

The man frowned. "Knock it off," he replied, voice dull. "It's over and done with, stop talking about it." 

 

They chuckled darkly. "Oh, yeah. It's so easy to forget about that–"

 

 _"Stop,"_ the man grit out, standing up from his seat with a loud creak of the chair. He pushed it in and approached them with a frown, their shoulders hunched and their eyes cross. "Please," he added in silently, taking their hands into his own. 

 

"I feel so guilty," they choked out, feeling tears swell up in between the corner of their eyes. "I killed him." 

 

"You did what was asked of you," the man replied simply, pulling away from the other. He turned around, his back facing them, and looked around the room. "What's done is done and you need to stop thinking about it." 

 

"But what if we–"

 

"There are no 'what if's' right now." The man sighed, rubbing his fingers against his forehead. "We'll be okay, alright? Ushijima helped us out a lot. He's got us covered." 

 

They bit their lip, feeling the guilt dig itself deeper into their stomach. "Alright, fine," they said finally, making the man grin. 

 

"They'll never figure it out," the man chuckled out, slinging his arm around the other's shoulders, pulling them closer towards himself. "We're going to be fine." 

 

"Mm," the other hummed out, leaning their head against the man's neck, searching for comfort. 

 

"As long as I sob my eyes out all day," the other laughed, snorting into the man's neck, making the man smile widely, "we'll be okay." 

 

"Yeah," they whispered to reassure themselves. "Okay."

 

 

**\- - -**

 

 

"It makes no sense," Kei mumbled out, making Tobio nod. "How the hell could they have gotten ahold of one of those?"

 

"They're illegal," Keiji butt in, flipping through a few packets in his hands, taking in the photos displayed in front of him. "In order to get ahold of the weapon, they'd have to go through a lot of dealing and illegal bidding, possibly." 

 

Kei hummed, gazing down silently at his laptop screen. "They fired ten times, hitting Koutarou every time. Only one grazed him, just barely missing. It's odd, considering what type of gun they used. It only would take one, if not two, bullets. They made a foolish mistake, honestly." 

 

"Why do you say that?" Tobio asked, looking down at Kei curiously from his spot against the file rack. 

 

"Because," the blonde replied, grinning up at the raven. "That means the suspect didn't know how to use the gun properly, which also means that they may have just registered it and received it. They must have not known how many bullets it would've taken to do what they did. So they aimed recklessly and considered it done."

 

Keiji's head perked up from his desk, his eyes growing wide. "That means we need to contact businesses that sell and bid off specific weapons. Knowing them, if you look into their business history, some stores may be sketchy. If we find the right one, they can give us some important information we need. We'll start out with the most local businesses." 

 

"Precisely," Kei chuckled out, tapping his fingers against his laptop keyboard. "So, should we give it a go?" 

 

 

"Precisely," Keiji mimicked in reply, throwing Tobio a grin. "I hope this works.

 

 

"It will," Tobio said, smiling over at the brunette. "Just be patient." 

 

"I have no patience, you know that." Keiji laughed lightly, skimming through a few papers. "None at all."

_'Not when it comes to Koutarou.'_


	6. Heat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"We're gonna have to...to jump."_

"Ushijima, hey!" Tobio called out, grinning up at the man, mocking the taller male. "How's my buddy?" 

 

The man scoffed. "I am no buddy of yours, Kageyama Tobio," he replied bitterly. "You are only an acquaintance I know of. As for Hinata-kun–"

 

"Ah, Shrimpy-chan is here?" A voice piped up from the back room, the sliding doors behind Ushijima slamming open and hitting the wall loudly as a red haired man jumped out and into view. His eyes were wide as he searched across the room, hoping to catch a flash of orange. Seeing no one beside the raven, his shoulders dropped and he frowned. 

 

"Awe, no fun." He whined, causing Tobio to roll his eyes. "Where's the little one?" 

 

"He's at home, Tendou. He's busy." Tobio replied, glaring at Tendou from the corner of his eyes. "And I'd appreciate it if you'd use his actual name."

 

_"Boring,"_ the red head groaned out, slinging his arm around Ushijima. The man flinched, tempted to shove the other away, but left him alone. "How is... _Hinata-kun?"_ He asked, grinning slyly up at Tobio. 

 

"He, ah..." Tobio trailed off, feeling his stomach knot, feeling oddly uncomfortable. "He's good."

 

"Good, good," Tendou chuckled out, tapping his fingers against Ushijima's shoulder. "Where's my wedding invitation, hm? I heard a thing or two about it..." 

 

"Oh, you're not invited." Tobio answered, smiling up at the red head, who squawked back at him in response. 

 

"Oi–"

 

"Ushijima Wakatoshi," Kei spoke up, silencing the red head. Ushijima looked towards the blonde, crossing his arms and eying him down curiously. "We aren't here for small talk. We're currently investigating a murder and we have the right to ask for your store purchase history and your business files."

 

"Technically, we are here to search your entire store and office," Keiji added, monotonously. Tobio snickered slightly, making Keiji's lips twitch upwards and quickly flatten down again. 

 

Ushijima gripped the table behind him tightly and cleared his throat. "And...why is that?" 

 

"Well," Keiji spoke, "we are unable to give out certain information but...we are searching for the weapon used in a recent crime. We've contacted and searched through a few businesses that sell this particular item and we've had no luck finding evidence of the suspect purchasing said weapon. You are our last lead." 

 

 

Tendou glanced towards Ushijima quickly from the corner of his eyes, feeling his stomach drop. He kept his face blank as he stared back at Keiji from his spot against the desk, sweat building up between his hands. 

 

 

"Alright," Ushijima replied after a few moments of silence. "Go ahead. My office is over there," he lifted his hand and pointed towards the red doors at the left of the store, and the three men walked towards it. Tendou sent Ushijima another haste glance, lipping at him silently. Ushijima nodded stiffly, making his way towards his desk. His eyes were trained on the three men as they walked through the doors of his office, and he pushed a finger down against the black button underneath his desk top. 

 

 

A red light flickered on the top, making him hum and nod at Tendou. The red head grinned, giving him a thumbs up, and walked forward to catch up to the other men. Ushijima followed behind him, glancing back behind his shoulder to watch as the store doors creaked open slowly, revealing four men. He turned back around, listening to them making their way into the back room, and walked into his office.

 

 

Kei was sitting in his office seat, flipping through papers he had on his desk. Keiji was holding a variety of different files, leaning over to read over Tobio's shoulder as he read, as well. 

 

 

Ushijima leaned up against the wall and eyed Keiji warily, noticing the familiar black folder he happened to be holding. His eyes grew wide and he looked over at Tendou, who stood beside him. He nodded his head towards the door, making the red head walk out, and cleared his throat loudly, earning the attention of the three men.

 

 

Kei looked up, fixing his glasses and pushing them up further up the bride of his nose. "Is there an issue?" He asked, lips twitching. 

 

 

Ushijima grinned, fisting his hands at his sides. "Why, yes, there is."

 

 

Kei frowned, looking over at Tobio and Keiji. "And that problem is...?"

 

 

"You see, there was a business meeting scheduled for today, a few days ago, and it is currently time for said meeting." He grit out, looking at the three men. "I apologize, but your time is up. You have to leave." 

 

 

"Oh?" Tobio asked, walking up to the taller male. "But it's not. We just start–"

 

 

"Tendou!" Ushijima yelled out, followed by a few thuds against the wall. The three men in front of him backed away, gripping the papers they were holding tightly. A few other men, three from earlier, rushed into the room and held out their own weapons, fingers held against triggers. Keiji choked, looking at Kei and Tobio nervously. He grit his teeth, cursing under his breath, and looked down at the files in his arms. Gripping them tighter, he yelled out and dashed forwards, ducking around one of the men.

 

 

The man cursed loudly, gripping the back of Keiji's shirt and pulling back. The sound of a shot rang through their ears, hitting the wall of the office. Keiji shoved himself back, hitting the edge of the doorway, and rushed outside of the office door. 

 

 

Tobio ducked, dodging the bullet, and stuffed the papers he was holding into his jacket, zipping it up as he ran to follow. He ran full force into one of the men, knocking them off balance, and he kicked the gun out of his hands as he hit the wall. Tobio reached down, snatching it and ran out of the room, and glanced back to see Kei kicking another's shin, head-butting him afterwards. He probably would've laughed, if he had the time.

 

 

Kei reached towards the desk one more time, gripping onto the two other files, and grimaced as a shot rang through the room again, piercing through the skin of his shoulder. He yelped, cursing loudly, and glanced behind him, his eyes landing on Ushijima. Ushijima smirked, gripping the gun tighter, ready to press his finger down again, but a kick to his side caused his body to jerk, slamming against the desk. Kei gasped, sprinting forward, ignoring whoever helped him out, and ran up to the two other men by the front doors of the building. 

 

 

Keiji groaned, slamming his hands and feet against the doors harshly. "It's locked!" He yelled out to Kei and Tobio, making them lock eyes and closed run towards the back room. Keiji held onto the files and slipped through the doors, ignoring the shots firing behind him, hitting the box beside him, and ducked as he went, following Tobio and Kei's body's in front of him.

 

 

A loud grunt and a thud bounced off of the hallway walls, making Keiji turn. 

 

 

"Keiji!" Tendou screamed out, holding the back room door closed. Shouts were heard from the other side, making Tendou grimace. He looked at Keiji sadly, motioning for him to continue running. "Go! I'll hold them off!"

 

 

Wary, but taking his chances, Keiji nodded frightfully, silently thanking the red head in his mind, and continued to rush down the hall. The sound of all of their footsteps slapping against the cement stairs echoed around them, their pants and grunts loud. 

 

 

A large yell sounded off somewhere behind them and they ran up the steps faster, noticing the small sliver of light peeking out of a doorway at the very top step. Tobio cheered silently, making Keiji laugh through his pants, and they slammed their bodies against the door, opening it wide. 

 

 

"Dammit," Tobio cursed, waking further over to the edge of the building. He looked down below his feet, watching cars pass by the building and the streets filling up with people as they went on with their day, and he looked hesitantly back at Keiji and Kei. 

 

 

"We're gonna have to...to jump," he explained, making the their eye's grow wide. The two looked at each other and bit their lips, shuffling with their clothes to shove the things in their hands somewhere inside. Kei walked backwards, glancing towards Tobio, 'tsking' under his breath, and pushed forward into a full on sprint. He gripped onto his shoulder tightly, leaping out. 

 

 

He yelled out, spreading out his legs and his arms, feeling the air whip past him as he went over the two buildings, and rolled onto the other building beside them, crying out as his shoulder hit the cement. He sat up shakily, gripping his shoulder with his free arm and stood up on wobbly knees, ignoring the burning sensation spreading against his skin. He watched as Tobio followed behind him, gripping onto the air as if it'd help him land, and he skid across the building top, groaning as he landed. 

 

 

Keiji sighed, feeling his blood pump loudly in his ears, hissing hotly at him. He backed up, mimicking the other men's actions, and flinched when footsteps were heard from inside of the building behind him, and he ran forward, his arms spread out in front of him as he reached for the other roof top. Tobio spread out his arms, hoping to help Keiji land, and shout out to him as the door of the roof top slammed open again. 

 

 

"Keiji!" Ushijima roared, sprinting forward to reach out and grab his shirt. He yelled, jumping back as Keiji gripped onto Tobio's arms and the two rolled onto the roof top. Men scattered over the top of Ushijima's building, raising their arm to shoot again, but Keiji grabbed Kei's arms, dragging him towards himself, and the three ducked over towards the other door of the building. They stayed behind the side of the doorway, gripping onto each other's arms tightly as they waited. They could hear the other's yelling and sprinting to catch up to them, and they rushed out, opening the doorway and sliding in. 

 

 

"Go, go!" Tobio screamed out, forcefully grabbing Kei's side and rushing down the stairway below them with Kei at his side to help him. Kei grunted with every step, gripping his jacket to keep the files he had safe. Patches of damp red soaked through his jacket, making Keiji curse and run down faster. They made their way into the back room of the new building, watching a few people yell out and back away from them. Ignoring them, the three ran through the door way and searched around the room for the front doors. 

 

 

"There!" Kei yelled out, pointing towards the glass doors towards the right. Tobio gripped him tighter and rushed forward, motioning for Keiji to open the doors. Shouts were heard around them, making them run faster and towards their cars that were parked around the area. 

 

 

"K-Keiji!" Tendou's voice called out suddenly, _"watch it!"_

 

Keiji gasped, turning his head to the side to see behind him, and shrieked, choking against the air around him as a bullet flew towards his cheek. His body froze, stilling mid-run, and he arched to the side, dodging it. A feeling of ice brushed against his face, burning cold, making his bones feel cold, and his eyes widened. He ignored this, continuing to run, and followed behind Tobio and Kei as they managed to get into the cars. 

 

 

He ran beside them, opening the door of the car on the side, and sat in the drivers seat to start the car. Keiji started up the car, not bothering to put on his seat belt or check his mirrors, and put the car in reverse, driving back and out of the parking lot. 

 

 

He could see a head of red hair bounce in the distance, falling down, and then fading into nothing as the two cars sped away, and he felt his heart tighten in his chest. He breathed in deeply, feeling his vision sway and his blood pulse harshly against his temples, and gripped the steering wheel tight. 

 

 

He could see Kei's arm slung off to the side, hanging out of the window, and he felt a dry sob erupt from his throat. Keiji shuddered, feeling incredibly panicked, and drove faster, keeping an eye on the police car driving in front of him. 

 

 

"I'm okay," he whispered to himself, panting shakily. "We're okay. It's alright."

 

 

He sobbed again, cupping a hand around his mouth, feeling his blood pump harder against his head. "Oh, my gosh. What have I gotten myself into, Koutarou?"

 

 

His body felt heavy, head feeling hot, but that cold feeling never went away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suck at writing action, sorry. :')


	7. Bitter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keiji was never a fan of hospitals.

Keiji was never a fan of hospitals, more so emergency rooms. They were always so cold, hollow, and smelt so strongly of medicine and fear. It reminded him of the way Koutarou's hands may have looked, lying still at his sides and spread out on the white sheets. His hand would probably be cold, limp, and connected to a tube being pumped with medication, struggling to keep him awake. He felt his heart clench at the mental image. 

 

 

He disliked sitting in the same seat for hours, having to listen to other's whimper and chat amongst themselves in similar seats around him. Occasionally, you'd hear footsteps behind you, hands pressing in a few numbers into the vending machines and hearing the shuffle and fall of a drink or a snack. 

 

 

He held his chin in his hands and stared down at his shoes absently, ignoring Tobio, who was siting in a seat beside him, as he spoke lowly to his fiancé on the phone. Keiji felt himself smile bitterly, remembering the countless times he'd call Koutarou and do the same. 

 

"Hey," Tobio whispered, tapping his fingers against Keiji's arm. Keiji looked up tiredly. "Kei's out of emergency," the raven said, making Keiji's eyes go wide and he sat straight up, suddenly taking notice of the man standing in front of them. He was wearing blue paper-like attire, with a face mask tucked underneath his chin, showing off his gentle smile as he looked down at them. 

 

 

"Your friend is fine," he explained, making Keiji's shoulders sag in relief. "He gave us quite a scare, though, considering the amount of blood loss the gunshot wound caused. We had some trouble getting around the fact that his clothing stuck to his wound, but it wasn't too hard to handle. He's out of surgery and is in his own room now. He is being left to rest."

 

 

"Thank you," Keiji replied, hoarsely. The man nodded his head, smiling at them one more time, and turned to walk away. Keiji turned and looked at Tobio, who still held his phone against his ear, listening to the other line intensely. 

 

 

"He's resting," he told the raven, making him nod, sighing. Keiji leaned back into his chair and rolled his shoulders, listening to them pop silently, and then drew his head back. He closed his eyes, squeezing his lips closed, and relived memories that jumped through his mind. 

 

 

_Suddenly, he was back in his bedroom. Keiji groaned out against his pillow, throwing a hand out to reach for Koutarou, only to find an empty bed, leaving his fingers to grasp onto nothing but blanket sheets. His eyes shot open. He ran his hands across the spot beside him again, where Koutarou once laid, and patted around._

_He lifted his head up gently, holding in a groan at the strain against the back of his neck and shoulder, and glanced around the dim lit room. Nothing but clothes were folded neatly on his desk chair, the mirror slightly dirty like it had always been, and the blinds hallways open to let in the sunlight._

_Keiji sighed, throwing his arms out around him and dug his face in deeper into the pillow beneath him. Koutarou had left before he woke up, he assumed. He couldn't hear anything moving around inside other parts of the house. Keiji felt himself grow bitter, his teeth digging into his bottom lip as he tried his best to keep the tears at bay._

_He groaned loudly, cursing as he slammed his fists against the bed, only for it to slightly bounce back up with a small creak of the bed posts. With closed eyes, he let his hand drift over, underneath the blankets, to grasp his phone that was underneath his pillow. Slipping it out of its place, he unlocked it and squint down at the bright screen. He felt himself smile._

_**From: Koutarou <3**   
Good morning, Keijiiiii! (I say that because by the time you wake up and read this, it'll be morning). I left sometime last night because Tetsuro was coming back home from work. His shift ended early last night and he didn't even tell me!_

_Keiji felt himself frown, his lips trembling slightly at the mention of the other man's name. His stomach tightened, making him feel nauseous, as the thought of Koutarou having to slip out of the sheets, leaving another man in the night, to make it home before another lover, settled into his mind. His real lover. Sniffling softly, he wiped at his eyes and continued to read, hoping his stomachache would fade away._

_...I hope you rested up well! It was really nice seeing you and spending time with you yesterday. That guy's face at the coffee shop was hilarious! Remember when he almost spilt the coffee when he saw you? Same, man, same. (Who wouldn't agree?)_

_"Tetsuro," Keiji muttered out bitterly._

_...I hope to see you again soon. I love you!_

_Keiji wailed, pressing his lips against his pillow to muffle the sound._

_...Have a nice day, bye!_

_**To: Koutarou <3**  
Good morning. Thank you. I hope you have a nice day, as well. I love you._

 

 

 

"...I didn't cherish you when I had the time," Keiji whispered to himself, opening his eyes. He blinked slowly, taking in the light of the room, and felt a small chill run down his spine. He was back in the emergency room, bitter and stuck in the same seat. Turning his head to glance to his side, he saw nothing but an empty seat beside him, making him raise a brow. He thought someone had taken a seat next to him. 

 

 

"Keiji," Tobio said, gaining his attention. "I think it's okay to go see Kei now. Wanna go?"

 

 

Keiji nodded, sitting up and stretching his arms. He stood and followed alongside Tobio as they walked down the halls, eying down the numbers printed beside the doorways on metal plates. 

 

 

"Room 65B," Tobio said, pointing to a closed door at the far end. The two approached it quietly, glancing at each other, and opened it slowly. Small beeps of a heart monitor echoed around the silent room, adding to the dim, dark lights and dampened mood. The two stepped inside and left the door opened slightly behind them to add in a little light. Tobio stood at Kei's bedside and sighed, taking in the large bandage wrapped around the blonde's shoulder. 

 

 

Keiji frowned. "How long do you think he'll be out of work?" He asked the raven. 

 

 

"About four months, possibly," Tobio answered, tapping at his chin. 

 

 

"I–if you think I'm going to be quitting and leaving you two idiots alone with this case, you're wrong." A voice spoke up, weak and silent. 

 

 

The two looked back down at the blonde, who's eyes were now slit open, a grin plastered across his lips. Kei chuckled. 

 

 

"How are you feeling?" Keiji asked, watching the blonde roll his eyes in amusement. 

 

 

"Wonderful," Kei replied sarcastically. Tobio snickered. "Fantastic, splendid, _amazing–"_

 

 

"Okay, okay," Keiji laughed out, "I get it, you're feeling bad. I'm sorry." 

 

 

"You should be," Kei joked, smiling up at the brunette. "You got me into this mess." 

 

 

"It was your bright idea to go to Ushijima's," Tobio added in, crossing his arms and smiling down at the blonde. Kei scoffed. 

 

 

"I feel so betrayed, Tobio." Kei playfully put a hand to his chest, coughing out dramatically. "Go and put the blame on a disabled man."

 

 

"You aren't disabled," Tobio replied. "You're just a crippled asshole."

 

 

"Same thing," Keiji whispered and Kei's smile softened. 

 

 

"To answer your questions from earlier...I'm not leaving work, you know that." 

 

 

"Figures," Keiji muttered, earning a flick on the forehead from Tobio. 

 

 

"...Anyways," Kei continued, "I'm still in on the case. Don't take me off just yet. Besides, after all of the things we just went through, I practically saved your asses." 

 

 

"What do you mean?" Tobio asked, squinting down at the blonde. Kei smirked and pointed his hand out shakily, directing their eyes towards the table beside him. There lie a black jacket folded neatly and a bag set on the top of that. Noticing a familiar color peeking through the bag, Keiji's eyes widened. 

 

 

"You _didn't,"_ he whispered, snatching up the bag and setting it into his lap, shuffling through its contents.

 

 

"Oh, I did. You're welcome." 

 

 

"Did what?" Tobio asked, moving to stand behind Keiji to watch. 

 

 

Keiji flipped through the contents silently, looking over them, and found the item he was looking for. He pulled it out, smiling. He held out a black colored folder, tape ripped off of the sides from Kei's previous reading. 

 

 

"This," Keiji told Tobio, "is exactly what we needed."

 

 

"What is it?" 

 

 

"The history of Ushijima's business purchases and bidding offers."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suspenseeeeee.


	8. Close

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Kuroo isn't exactly...devastated like Keiji seems to be," he admit, making Tobio's stomach turn. "He's quite down, yes, but not mourning completely. There's a difference between Keiji's mourning and Kuroo's."_

"So," Kei started, shifting slowly against his bed as he attempted to sit up, failing miserably. Tobio grunted, seeming annoyed–although, Keiji knew he was far from it–and grabbed his arm gently to hoist him up into a sitting position, pressing the button on the side of the bed to prop his back upwards. Kei glared at the raven as he went over to sit back down in the plastic chair beside the end of the bed, making Keiji smile.

 

 

The blonde scoffed, crossing his arms across his chest slowly, grimacing when he realized he could not do so because of his shoulder. Ignoring this, he continued. "Have you found anything useful yet, Keiji?"

 

 

The brunette mumbled a few incoherent words under his breath, reading over the paper he was currently on, and paused to reply to the other. "Yes," he said, putting his finger onto the page to trail it down as he read. "It seems as though Ushijima has been selling illegal weapons for...months before this even happened."

 

 

"Months?" Kei repeated, astonished. He frowned, adding, "but did he happen to sell anything recently?"

 

 

"Mm...yes." Keiji flipped over the eighteenth page, skimming over it slowly to find what he needed. Cheering silently, he placed his finger against the paragraph and read it aloud. 

 

 

"'Shop owner Ushijima Wakatoshi sold a firearm, model 4E269I, on March 21st'..." he read out, trailing off, "to a man by the name of Yamamoto Taketora...sound familiar at all?" 

 

 

"Taketora, huh?" Tobio thought aloud, crossing his arms and leaning back against his chair. He rocked on the balls of his feet and frowned. "'Doesn't ring a bell for me. Kei, what about you?"

 

 

The blonde shook his head, confused as he pondered over the name. Tobio squint at him for a moment, taking in his expression. He seemed conflicted, somehow. "I can't think of any faces, no." He replied, making Keiji sigh. "Where's my laptop?"

 

 

"Back in the car," Keiji said, moving to stand up. "Want me to go grab it?"

 

 

Kei nodded, motioning for him to hurry and leave with a small grin. Tobio chuckled and watched as Keiji left the room, shutting the door softly behind him. He turned, looking back over at Kei.

 

 

"You're thinking about something," he said, voice low. "What are you thinking about?"

 

 

"I'm not thinking about _'something',"_ Kei replied, rolling his eyes. He paused, looking down at his lap, and frowned. "I'm thinking about...Akaashi."

 

 

"What about him?" Tobio asked, scooting his chair closer towards the bed. Kei closed his eyes and pressed his fingers against his forehead, scratching the hair above his forehead lightly in thought. 

 

 

"I can't place it right but," Kei sighed, "he seems to be on the verge of tears every time I look at him. He's hiding some–"

 

 

"How would you feel if someone you loved, but couldn't have, suddenly was murdered?" Tobio interrupted, asking. Kei blinked up at him owlishly, sucking in his breath. 

 

 

The blonde shook his head lightly and chuckled bitterly. "I'd be heart broken," he responded, "I guess I understand, then. But, still..."

 

 

"Kuroo isn't exactly _devastated_ like Keiji seems to be," he admit, making Tobio's stomach turn. "He's quite down, yes, but not mourning completely. There's a difference between Keiji's mourning and Kuroo's."

 

 

"They are two different people," Tobio said, earning a dull look from Kei. "They won't react the same way. But I do get what you're saying. I haven't even seen Tetsurou yet, come to think of it." 

 

 

"I just figured that with Kuroo being the fiancé, he'd be hurting more," Kei said. "I guess that's some messed up logic, though. I don't know..."

 

 

"Keiji and Koutarou were...close. I can see why this has affected him so much. I told him earlier that if–"

 

 

"I'm back," Keiji murmured, sliding through the door and closing it behind him. He gripped a silver laptop in his arms against his chest, and hurried to sit back into his seat. He looked up at the two men and stilled. 

 

 

"Did I interrupt something?" 

 

 

"No," Kei replied. "As if I'd try to make conversation with him." 

 

 

"You love me," Tobio smiled, teasing the other male.

 

 

Kei only scoffed, replying, "as if. I'm still surprised that _shrimpy_ has the hot's for you. I mean, I always knew he was an idiot, but to go and like you? Poor guy." 

 

 

Tobio glared at the blonde, huffing. "He's not an idiot," he bit back. "He's a complete dumbass."

 

 

"Same thing."

 

"It's _not."_

 

"It really is."

 

 

"Is not." 

 

 

"Hey," Keiji interrupted the two's bickering, "can we focus on the case right now and not argue about whether or not Hinata is an idiot? Please?" 

 

 

"He's a complete fool, case closed." Keiji muttered, snickering at Tobio when the raven shoved out a fist but slowly put it back down, knowing fully well that he could not hurt Kei any further than he was. 

 

 

"Here," Keiji slid the laptop over to Kei, making the man stare down at it silently. He sighed, whining to himself, and opened it. 

 

 

"Quit whining," Tobio said. "You're the one who said you wanted to do this. So, do it."

 

 

"I will, once you stop staring at me." 

 

 

"Fine, whatever." 

 

 

Kei's eyes were fixated on the bright screen in front of him, his fingers tapping away quickly against the keyboard, scrolling and clicking through files. He pushed his glasses up and cleared his throat.

 

 

"Who am I looking for again?" He asked.

 

 

"Uh," Keiji looked down at the papers he was holding, "a man by the name of Yamamoto Taketora." 

 

 

"Yama...moto...Take– _ah_ , here he is." Kei turned the laptop around slowly, avoiding the tube lying beside his ribcage, and faced it towards Tobio and Keiji. Tobio made a choked off sound, eyes widening as he turned to look at Keiji. 

 

 

"I literally saw him yesterday," he said. "And, on top of that, Shouyou knows him from that one bakery down town. Y'know, Shomida's."

 

 

"Did he seem...sketchy to you?" Keiji asked, writing down Tobio's previous words as he continued to explain. 

 

 

"No, not really. I mean, he seemed like a cool guy." Tobio explained, "Shouyou even got a free donut out of him."

 

 

"Huh," Keiji pondered, "how strange. What is an average man like him doing purchasing something like this...?"

 

 

"Uh, no, he's not an 'average man'," Kei spoke up, scoffing. He scowled, adding, "unless you think a prison record is 'average'."

 

 

"...prison record?" Tobio repeated, voice trailing off. "What the hell." 

 

 

"For what?" Keiji exclaimed, getting up to crouch by Kei's bedside. Kei closed his eyes and sighed. 

 

 

"Shop-lifting, several times. He had a pattern. He'd always go for weapons, if not something super expensive." 

 

 

"...Is there any other information?" 

 

 

"Yes, of course," Kei replied, "but we have enough evidence to give him a phone call first."

 

 

"Aright," Keiji said, pulling out his phone and flicking open his pen. "What is the phone number given?"

 

 

"Here," Kei replied, turning around the laptop again, facing the screen directly at Keiji, highlighting the phone numbers listed on the man's profile. Keiji hummed to himself, typing in the small digits into the dial pad, and the three listened as the other line began to ring. 

 

 

It took about five seconds, but there was a familiar click and a hoarse voice echoed through the phone, making Tobio lean closer to hear.

 

 

"Hello? Who is this?" 

 

 

"Hello, is this Yamamoto Taketora?" Keiji asked, earning a hum and a short reply. He breathed in deeply and continued, "this is Akaashi Keiji from Tokyo's Police Department and I am a detective on a–"

 

 

Loud beeps cut him off, signaling that the line ended. His mouth went agape and he stood up quickly, shuffling through his things to grab his keys. 

 

 

"....He hung up on me," Keiji said, making Tobio grit his teeth and curse, standing up, as well. "'Guess that means go."

 

 

"Good luck," Kei said, watching them open the door. Keiji smiled, nodding with Tobio. 

 

 

"Thanks," he replied. "Keep us updated, alright?" 

 

 

"Will do."

 

 

The door clicked shut and Kei leaned back against the pillows behind him, exhaling deeply. He reached over towards his phone and pressed in a few numbers. Holding up the phone to his ear, he waited. 

 

 

"Hello?"

 

 

"Sugawara, I'm in need of your assistance." 

 

 

There was a pause on the other line, filled in by silent static. There was an intake of breath and then, "what can I do for you?"


	9. Oddity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"He is officially a suspect as of now."_

The air smelt of melancholy and bitterness when Koushi had stepped into the funeral home, his lips sucked in tightly to prevent himself from letting out any noise. He often preferred the silence but the silence currently surrounding him made him feel strange and out of place. He looked around the room and left the door ajar behind him, walking deeper into the confining space. It was quite...bright for such a place like this, Koushi noticed. His shoulders trembled as he walked further into the room, eying the coffins on display around him. 

 

 

His eyes dart forward as he heard a small shuffle from the curtain at the corner of the room, blocking off a section from his view. Koushi felt himself shudder. That's where...

 

 

"May I help you?" A voice asked, soft and somewhat silent. Koushi turned and took in the woman standing before him, her eyes dull but her smile so bright. Her eyes crinkled at the sides as she smiled at him, nodding her head in acknowledgment. 

 

 

"Ah," Koushi mumbled out, recollecting his thoughts, "yes, actually. I'm Sugawara Koushi, a local detective from downtown and...I was called to go over a few things regarding a victim with someone today."

 

 

"Oh, yes. A man by the name of Tsukishima called me earlier this morning about this. What a kind boy, he was." She hummed out, slowly walking over to the desk that was held up by the wall towards their right, standing below a row of white, pearl finished coffins. Koushi felt his throat go dry as he reluctantly followed.

 

 

"Bo–Bokuto Koutarou, correct?" She asked, skimming through a stack of papers. Her nails scratched against the surface of the desk, a sound echoing off of the wood, making Koushi cringe as he watched. 

 

 

He nodded. "Yes."

 

 

"Alright, well, he was examined about two days ago and hasn't been touched since. He's being preserved as we speak," she explained, turning around to lean against the desk and face Koushi. 

 

 

Koushi frowned. "So...no one has done anything with him?"

 

 

The woman shook her head, solemn. "No."

 

 

"No one has called to plan a funeral?" He continued to ask, feeling heat pool in his stomach. Koushi felt himself grow angry, suddenly. 

 

 

"Sadly, no." The woman sighed out, picking the papers back up and holding them together tightly. "The one who filed the man in never called back. He called about three days ago, sayin' he'd start planning the viewing and funeral process soon but never did. What an odd man, he was. The poor guy seemed scatter brained."

 

 

Koushi grit his teeth and asked, "what was the man's name, if I may ask?" 

 

 

"Ah, lets see..." she slipped her finger down the middle of the stack of papers she held and pulled out a single paper, and read out, "his name is Kuroo Tetsurou." 

 

 

"Alright," Koushi breathed out, ignoring the hot, harsh pulse hammering at the side of his forehead. "Thank you for the information..."

 

 

"Hiro," she finished for him, grinning widely. "My name is Hiro and you're welcome. I hope I was helpful, considering that I'm only the assistant here. If you'd like, I can send you back with the documents we have on Bokuto Koutarou?"

 

 

"Yes, please. I'd really appreciate that, Hiro. Thank you." 

 

 

"Mhm," she mumbled, picking up a few more sheets and slipping them into a folder. She tapped them against the desk to straighten the papers out, placing a paper clip over the folder top, and handed it over to Koushi, who grabbed it and gripped it tightly. 

 

 

"Once again, thank you for your help. I will be back soon." Koushi bowed, giving the woman a small smile before he hastily stepped out of the room.

 

 

Hiro felt her smile soften, slipping down into a sad frown. "Poor boy..."

 

 

**\- - -**

 

 

 

"Tetsurou is officially a suspect as of now," Koushi spat, slapping the file onto Kei's bedside table. 

 

 

Kei's eyes widened and he shifted up to sit in his bed, eying the file hesitantly. "...Why do you say that?" 

 

 

"Did you know," Koushi felt a bitter laugh bubble in his throat, making Kei wince, "that no one has done anything for Koutarou since the day he was placed into that funeral home? Nothing. Tetsurou said he was, but clearly he hasn't." 

 

 

"You're kidding," Kei replied, his mouth going slightly ajar. Koushi nodded, making Kei frown. "I don't understand." 

 

 

"Neither do I," Koushi grit out. "All I know is that he's a suspect on my list and he's _a fucking–"_

 

 

"Hey, hey," Kei interrupted, trying to calm the other male down. Koushi's eyes flickered back up to him and he exhaled, feeling his heart slow down from it's rapid chase in his chest.

 

 

"This is all weird as hell but I think we should tell Keiji and Kageyama this first before jumping to conclusions and putting down Tetsurou as a suspect just yet." 

 

 

"I guess you're right." Koushi sat down into a spare seat and put his head into his hands, breathing out deeply as he took in the information. "Wasn't Kuroo a suspect since day one?" He asked suddenly, making Kei's lips twist. 

 

 

"Uh, not really?" He replied. "In a way, yes. We've been looking into everything and he seems to odd to us right now. He isn't mourning. Keiji is the one mourning right now, Koushi. _Keiji."_

 

 

"Ah, man," Koushi choked out, feeling remorse grip as his chest. "I can't even picture how Keiji must feel right now, I...I feel horrible when I try to." 

 

 

"Don't," Kei scoffed. "I don't think we knew Koutarou like Keiji did. I don't think we'd know how he's feeling."

 

 

"Not even Tetsurou," Koushi commented lowly, making Kei chuckle. 

 

 

"Not even him," he replied, dazed. _"Not even him."_

 

 

 

**\- - -**

 

 

 

_"Hey, Koutarou?"_

_The other boy hummed, lifting his head up from his pillow. "What is it?"_

_"Do you ever feel...bad for what we're doing?"_

_"I do, sometimes," he admit. "But I love you, Keiji. I don't...I don't have that with..."_

_"It's alright, I get it." The other laughed airily, taking in the sight of the boy bedside him. "I love you, too."_

_"I'd hope so," Koutarou joked, earning a soft smack to his side. "Otherwise, all of those love poems I gave you in high school would've been a waste."_

_"They were," Keiji teased. "I threw them all away."_

_Koutarou's eyes shot open at the quiet comment, making Keiji flinch and laugh. "You liar!"_

_"I'm kidding, Kou. They're at my old house," he mumbled, laughing out when arms wound around his hips, pulling him down the bed. He gripped the sheets with a shrill laugh, hoping to stay in the warmth of the sheets._

_Koutarou pinned him down, kneeling above him at the end of the bed, and grinned sleepily down at the brunette._

_"Good," he joked. "Otherwise, I'd probably kill you before Tetsurou ever got the chance!"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That last line always gets me :')


	10. Idiocy

Taketora wasn't as kind as Tobio remembered him to be. The man was all smiles and laughs when he had last seen him, playful and kind as he spoke with his bright fiancé a day prior to finding out what he had from Kei. Taketora happened to be back at bakery again, working behind the register, when Keiji and Tobio walked in through the glass doors. At first glance, Tobio though he had seen a smile grace the man's face as they walked in, but when he looked again, the man was frowning.

 

 

"Hello," he said, dull as he watched them approach the front counter. He caught eyes with Keiji, a small smile tugging at his lips. "How may I help you?"

 

 

Tobio grit his teeth. "We'd like a few pastries to go," he said, glancing towards Keiji from the corner of his eyes. Keiji had ignored him completely, instead taking charge of looking over Taketora's form. The brunette squint up at him. 

 

 

"Excuse me," he butt in, asking, "does your name happen to be Yamamoto Taketora?" 

 

 

The man's hands tightened around the edge of the counter top, his knuckles turning white. Tobio felt himself grin. 

 

 

"Uh, yes. Why?" 

 

 

Keiji smiled politely at the man, gripping his wallet in his hands tightly and held it up. He placed his finger in between the opening and flipped it open, showing the man the badge placed inside. 

 

 

"My name is Akaashi Keiji and I'm from the police department on a murder case. You, Yamamoto Taketora, are under arrest for purchasing an illegal weapon."

 

 

Tobio watched as dread filled Taketora's face, his hands shooting up in the air defensively. He backed away, hitting the shelves behind him, making pastries drop to the floor, and he quickly turned to run into the back room. Tobio cursed, placing his hand onto the counter and throwing his legs over the top, tossing himself on top of the counter and putting himself behind the register. 

 

 

His arms shot out, gripping Taketora's, and he pulled them back. Tobio gripped his cuffs and slapped them across Taketora's wrists, clicking them closed. The man grimaced, throwing his head back to glare at the raven, whimpering. 

 

 

"I didn't do anything!" He cried out, tugging at the cuffs. Tobio grinned, nodding his head. "Sure, you didn't. Let's go," he said, pulling Taketora around the counter and towards the front doors. 

 

 

The man continued to cry out profanities, earning a few wide eyed stares from other employees as he was dragged away into the cop car parked outside. Keiji sighed, relieved, and turned his head around to stare at the girl behind the counter, looking at him in shock. 

 

 

"May I have about six strawberry and cream pastries, please?" He asked, watching as the girl nodded her head slowly, her face still slack and shocked. "To go," he added, leaning over the counter, turning away to watch Tobio talk to Taketora through the front seat. 

 

 

"H-Here you go," the girl said, placing a large, transparent pink box in front of him. He smiled, placing money onto the counter top, and picked up the box to go. 

 

 

"Keep the change," he called out as he walked out, making the girl shout out in thanks as the doors shut, muting her voice. Keiji opened the passenger door and seated himself, closing it and placing the box onto his lap. He could hear Taketora breathing heavily in the backseat, his cuffs clanking around his skin as he shuffled around. 

 

 

Tobio reached over and flipped open the box on Keiji's lap, taking out a pastry. He bit into it and started up the car, saying, "Sho's wrong 'bout that cop stereotype shit." 

 

 

Keiji peered over at him and laughed, ignoring the muttering from behind him. "About the donuts?"

 

"Yeah," Tobio said around his pastry, backing out of the bakery parking lot and getting out into the street. "He's an idiot, I told you." 

 

 

"Mm," Keiji smiled, taking a bite of his own pastry. He tuned out the angry muttering once again and turned to watch the road ahead of them. 

 

 

_"Akaashi!" Koutarou called out from the kitchen, his voice wavering nervously. Keiji placed his notebook down hesitantly, making his way into the kitchen._

_He felt his mouth drop slightly as he took in the sight before him, laughter pooling inside of his stomach._

_"...what are you doing?"_

_"I was only heating up coffee, Akaashi!" The other whined, wiping at his stained, wet shirt with a washcloth. "I opened the microwave and it splattered all over me! It's broken, or something!"_

_Keiji laughed loudly, doubling over as he took in Koutarou's words. Koutarou scowled, whining._

_"Keiji, stop laughing! This isn't funny! My shirt, look at it! It's stained!"_

_Keiji wheezed, standing back up straight, and wiped at his eyes. "Koutarou," he choked out, grabbing the washcloth from his hands, "it's not broken. You just set the heat up too high. Also, stop dabbing at your shirt, throw it in the wash."_

_"You're so mean!" Koutarou cried out, glaring at Keiji at then at the microwave above them._

_"And you are an idiot," Keiji replied, earning a squawk in reply. "But I-I love you for it."_

 

 

"–innocent!" A loud voice boomed, startling Keiji from his thoughts. Keiji turned his head and looked back through the bars at Taketora, staring at him dully as the man continued to shout.

 

 

"I didn't do anything," the man growled again, snarling at Keiji. Tobio scoffed. 

 

 

"That's not what our evidence shows," he said, pulling into the police station.

 

 

"What evidence do you 'authorities' think you have, huh?" Taketora spat, making Keiji smile. The man frowned, confused as Keiji unbuckled himself out of his seat. 

 

 

"Plenty of evidence that you'll know soon," he replied. "Until then, you will be silent. Got it?"

 

 

"As if I'd–"

 

 

"He said silent." Tobio growled, glaring at the man. Taketora rolled his eyes and leaned back into his seat, moving his knee up in down nervously as the two men got out of the car.   
A few other policemen stepped out of the building in front of them, approaching the car as Tobio opened the back seat, tugging Taketora out, and aided Tobio as they took him inside. 

 

 

Keiji stood in silence as the police station doors shut behind them, listening to Taketora's voice fading away through the building. He smiled sadly, wiping his hands across the box in his hands as he followed after them. 

 

 

_"...Awe, I love you, too, 'Kaashi!"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing flashbacks of Keiji's memories of Koutarou is so upsetting, why do I do this to myself-


	11. Pleads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"I didn't kill him!"_

The moment they heard Taketora's voice gasping through the phone, they knew they were close to being found out.

 

 

"They–they 'got me locked up in here! I was taken in...bail me out, please. _Please."_

 

 

They sighed, rubbing at their temples, frustrated. They slammed their fists against the table in front of them and growled lowly, fingers tightening around their phone. 

 

 

"Yamamoto..." they started, exasperated. "I'll see what I can do, alright? Until then, I have to go."

 

 

_"No, no, you can't!"_

 

 

"Yamamo–"

 

 

"You can't do this to me, dammit! It's all your fucking fault! You did this, you did–"

 

 

They clicked a button, ending the call, and tossed their phone somewhere randomly. They ran their hands up their face, gripping onto their hair in large, angry fistfuls.

 

 

"Dammit!" They screamed, hitting the wall beside them. "Damn, damn, _damn..."_

 

 

"Hey, what the hell?" A voice piped out, coming from around the corner. Their head shot up, fingers still knotted into their hair, and they looked up at the man, furious.

 

 

"What happened?" The man asked, rushing over and gripping their arms, tugging their fingers out of their hair to clasp into their own. "What's wrong? Tell me, please."

 

 

"They–they-"

 

 

"Hey, breathe," the man pleaded. "Sh, tell me what happened." 

 

 

They huffed, feeling the air grow lighter. "They took in Yamamoto...they know. He's so mad. _We're done."_

 

 

The man's shoulders dropped, hands going slack as they dropped into their lap, and he sighed deeply, trying to control his thoughts as they scattered across his mind. 

 

 

"Okay," he whispered. "Alright, we need to think about this. Oh, _god._ We're going to be okay, you got it? We are going to act normal, alright? Just like we've been doing, babe. We're gonna to be okay." 

 

 

They whimpered, digging their face into the man's shoulder as they cried softly, fear tugging at their stomach. 

 

 

The man pat their back, placing his own face into their hair. "We'll be okay," he whispered, feeling his lips tremble. "You're okay."

 

 

No, no they weren't. 

 

 

**\- - -**

 

 

"You aren't innocent!" An officer grit out, glaring across the table at Taketora, who sat in a chair cuffed to the back. "There's evidence, Yamamoto. You're stuck."

 

 

"What evidence?" The brunette yelled, making Tobio sigh from his spot against the wall beside the door, next to Keiji. "What fuc–"

 

 

The officer sighed, flipping through the papers in his hands. He peered down at the fine print through his glasses, ignoring the rushed signature scribbles around the page. 

 

 

He cleared his throat, reading out, "'shop owner Ushijima Wakatoshi sold a firearm, model 4E269I, on March 21st to a man by the name of Yamamoto Taketora.'"

 

 

Taketora freezed in his seat, his cuffs going silent. 

 

 

"Oh? Does that name sound familiar, Yamamoto? Who's Ushijima Wakatoshi to you? Don't act like this is news for you." The officer interrogated him, leaning close against the table as he continued to read the sheet in front of him. 

 

 

"Stop, stop!" Taketora cried out, turning his head away as he felt tears pool against his eyes. 

 

 

"Did you know," the officer grit out, "that the weapon you used was the same weapon that killed Bokuto Koutarou?"

 

 

Tobio froze, looking over at Keiji in shock. They hadn't known this, thinking that the bullets was still being examined. Keiji turned his head and looked back at Taketora, taking in the fear the man gave off. 

 

 

"I..." he choked, tears spilling down his cheeks. "I may have purchased the gun but, god dammit, I didn't kill him! I swear to you, I didn't do it!"

 

 

"Then who did, Yamamoto?" The officer pressured him, making Tobio wish Yamamoto would just speak up. 

 

 

"He..." Taketora started, whispering. Keiji's lips parted, eyed wide, and he leaned closer to listen. "I can't. I can't do this, I'm sorry." 

 

 

"I'll ask you one more time, Yamamoto. Who is 'he' and why did he do it?" 

 

 

"I can't tell you," the brunette cried, "I can't!" 

 

 

"Then, you aren't innocent, Yamamoto. No matter if you committed the crime or not, you still bought an illegal weapon and it happens to be the same one that killed our most recent victim." The officer shuffled the papers in his hands and slapped them back onto the table, leaning back into his seat and turning his head around to face the four officers standing against the wall to his left. 

 

 

"Take him back to the cells," he ordered, making the four nod and approach Taketora.

 

 

Immediately, he started yelling again. "Please! No! You can't do this!"

 

 

"We can and we will," the man finalized, watching as the four took him out of the room, ignoring the harsh yells and kicks they earned. Taketora's voice drifted throughout the halls, ending with a quick slam of bars, and Keiji flinched. 

 

 

"Well," the officer said, frowning up at Tobio and Keiji. "We have our purchaser, but not our last suspect." 

 

 

"What do you mean, 'last suspect?'" Keiji asked, growing confused. 

 

 

"There are a few more suspects on our list, Akaashi," the officer explained, making the brunette nod slowly. "Here, take this, Tobio." He handed the raven a sheet of paper, a list, Tobio realized as he looked over it. He nodded.

 

 

"Go over it with Keiji and Kei," the man ordered, picking up a few things to take with him when he leaves the room. "Send Kei my regards. Tell him I hope he gets well soon. I like the kid, and I don't want 'em out of this case, yet." 

 

 

Keiji smiled. "We will, Sachi, don't worry." 

 

 

"Good," Sashi replied, giving Keiji a small smile in reply. "Thank you. That's it for right now, but please go over the suspect list as I retrieve a few people, too." 

 

 

"Alright," Tobio nodded, rushing to walk out of the room, Keiji in tow. Keiji frowned as Tobio dragged him out of the station, hurrying towards their police car parked in front. Tobio let him go, slipping into the drivers seat, and pat the passenger seat, motioning for him to get in. Keiji frowned, opening the door to get in, and looked over at Tobio in confusion.

 

 

"What's wrong?" He asked, closing his door. Tobio put his keys in and started up the ignition, tossing Keiji the list with his free hand as he put one onto the wheel to drive away.

 

 

"Oh," Keiji whispered, eying over the list.

 

 _'Kuroo Tetsurou...Kozume Kenma...Ushijima Wakatoshi."_

 

 

"Yeah, _'oh,'"_ Tobio mimicked, switching lanes as the car in front of him gave him enough space to get through. "Keiji, look..."

 

 

"What?"

 

 

"I want you to take Kuroo on for me," the raven said, making Keiji frown. 

 

 

"Why–"

 

"You need to," Tobio admit. "Please, Keiji. For me, for Koutarou. You need to do this." 

 

 

"Why, Tobio?" Keiji asked, his fingers practically crumpling up the paper in his hands as his heart raced in his chest. 

 

 

"Because you need this," Tobio said. He glanced over at the brunette and smiled. "You can do it, Keiji. Plus, I know how much you despise the guy. You'd enjoy it, don't lie."

 

"I'm never one to lie," Keiji scoffed, rolling his eyes. "...but yes, I would enjoy it."


	12. Liar

Keiji wiped his feet across the small carpet in front of the café doors, huffing as the water stuck to the fabric of his sock from the drains below him from earlier. He gripped his coat tightly, pulling it up and over his sides, and opened the doors silently. 

 

 

He was instantly hit with warmth and the smell of rich coffee beans. There was soft chatter from people around him, soothing him, somehow, and he felt his shoulders relax. Keiji stepped out of the way of the door, smiling politely as more costumers walked in. He sighed, peering around at his surroundings, catching sight of a raven haired man sitting at a table in the far side of the corner, waving a hand up at the him from his spot beside the doors. The man caught onto the movement from the corner of his eye and waved back, smiling widely.

 

 

"Keiji!"

 

 

The brunette made his way over the table and rubbed his hands together to warm up his hands, still feeling cold. He pulled out the chair across from the raven and sat down, scooting himself in. 

 

 

"Hey," Keiji murmured, digging his hands into his coat pockets. He fiddled with a loose strand of cloth dangling from it, avoiding the other's gaze. Kuroo felt himself stiffen at the sound of the man's voice.

 

 

"It's...been a while," Keiji continued, his eyes snapping up to Kuroo's face quickly. Kuroo smiled sadly. 

 

 

"Yeah," he whispered, voice raspy. "It has been a while, huh? Ever since..."

 

 

"Yeah..." Keiji trailed off. "Did you order?" He asked, earning a nod. 

 

 

"Yeah, I did a few minutes ago. How have you, uh, been?" The raven coughed out, his breath blowing across Keiji's face, making him grimace. Kuroo smelt of pure smoke. 

 

 

"I've been...alright, I guess. I've been caught up in this case, you know?" The brunette said, feeling the knot in his stomach tighten at the facial expression Kuroo gave him in reply. 

 

 

"I see. How's that going?" Kuroo asked, turning his head to the side to look for their waitress, running out of patience as his throats began to dry. 

 

 

"It's been going well, thankfully." Keiji admit, eying Kuroo intently, waiting for his response. "Although, I can't talk about it in detail...but it's been well."

 

 

"I see," the raven muttered, eyes growing cold. He peered up at Keiji through his lashes and suddenly smiled, his lips open wide as he flashed Keiji a full-teeth smile. 

 

 

"How's Hirashi?" He asked, voice filled with malice as he grinned. Keiji felt his fists tighten in his pockets, his face growing warm, and he frowned. He knew what Kuroo was doing. 

 

 

"I haven't heard from him. We broke up a while ago. It's been about two years," he replied, leaning back into his chair smugly. He wasn't proud of the words he chose to use, but he disliked the fact Kuroo seemed to think he had something against him to use so bitterly. 

 

 

 _'Childish,'_ he thought. 

 

 

"Oh?" The raven replied, putting his chin into his palms. "I'm sorry to hear that. What happened?"

 

 

 _'Your fiancé happened.'_ "We weren't right for each other. But that was okay, it was for the best."

 

 

Kuroo hummed, closing his eyes in thought. "That sucks," he mumbled. "'Sorry to hear that." 

 

 

"It's alright," Keiji said. He flicked his fingers over the zipper to his jacket and smiled softly at the waitress as she walked towards their table, holding two steaming cups in her hand. She returned the favor, nodding her head at him as she placed them down beside his hands. 

 

 

"Hope you like it," she said, waving to them as she returned to the register at the front. Kuroo watched as she left for a moment and then looked back at Keiji.

 

 

"She's cute, huh?" He asked, smiling around his cup. Keiji held back a roll of his eyes.

 

 

 _'Your fiancé just died.'_ "No, not really." 

 

 

"She seemed pretty into you, though." Kuroo continued, making the brunette's fingers tighten around his cup. 

 

 

"Oh, well." Keiji replied shortly, sipping at his coffee. "If you'd look closely, there's a rather large wedding band on her left ring finger, implying something, don't you think? It's called common sense." 

 

 

Kuroo halted, his hands gripping onto his mug harshly. Keiji felt the anger inside him fade at the feeling of his own smug smile. 

 

 

"Funny," Kuroo replied lowly, voice trapped into his cup as he drank. 

 

 

"...very." Keiji told himself inaudibly, smiling around his cup. He set his cup down and clutched at his coat, wrapping it around him tighter, feeling cold. 

 

 

"Ugh," he groaned lightly, huffing when he realized his jacket was too thin and no help whatsoever. "It's cold in here."

 

 

"Not really," Kuroo replied, eyebrows raised high. "I'm pretty hot." 

 

 

"Of course you are," Keiji joked, making Kuroo laugh out loud, his head thrown back against his chair, earning a few stares. Keiji shrunk back into his seat.

 

"True." 

 

 

Kuroo's voice drifted off, fading into nothing and the two sat in silence for a few moments, the air growing thick and uncomfortable, suddenly. Keiji sighed. 

 

 

"Kuroo," he started, meeting the other's eyes. "...have you started planning Koutarou's funeral, yet?"

 

Kuroo stilled, making Keiji's heart stop and his eyes widen a bit. 

 

 

"Uh, no." Kuroo admit, eyes drifting down to his cup. "I haven't gotten to it, honestly. I feel like I'm too scared to." 

 

 

"I understand," Keiji murmured. "I could help, if you'd like?"

 

 

"No, it's okay." Kuroo quickly replied, meeting Keiji's eyes again. "I should probably start planning today."

 

 

"Yeah." The brunette took a quick drink of his coffee one more time, setting it back on the table gently. He brushed off his pants and stood up, smiling down softly at Kuroo as he did so. 

 

 

"If you need help, I'm one call away." He said, "thanks for meeting up with me. It was...nice seeing you again." 

 

 

"Yeah," Kuroo said, eyes distant. "Thanks, Akaashi."

 

 

Keiji nodded, glancing back at Kuroo one more time, and made his way towards the front doors of the café, and left with an uncomfortable knot at the bottom of his stomach. He quickly pulled out his phone, fishing for it and taking it from his pocket, and typed in a message to Tobio. He clicked his phone off, tucking it back into his pocket, and looked through the door again, watching as Kuroo started to get up from his seat. He squint his eyes, mumbling to himself, and walked towards the alleyway two buildings down from the café. 

 

 

"Hey," Tobio whispered from the side, head popped out of the car window. "You ready?"

 

 

Keiji nodded silently, stepping inside of the police car and shutting his door softly. "Yeah," he replied. "He's coming out of the place right now. He's the one in the bright red pullover. Drive out and follow him." 

 

 

"Alright," Tobio whispered, shifting into drive. He pulled out, leaning over to look through the front glass and watch as people walked around the café building, waiting for Kuroo to pop out through the doors. After about two minutes, he spot the raven walking out of the doors, head low, and grinned nervously. "Let's go."


	13. Bright Voice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"He's gone and he's dead, Tobio."_

Keiji felt the uncomfortable knot spread deeper throughout his stomach as they made their way down the street, stopping every once in a while to pause and watch Kuroo leave another building and go into the next. It all felt like a game, he thought. He felt guilt gnaw at his stomach as he watched the raven walk down the sidewalk slowly, occasionally waving at another person as they passed by. 

 

 

He was about to cuff his best friend's, the love of his life's fiancé's hands. He, the man who had been with Kuroo's fiancé behind his back for years, is about to cuff him and take him in. Keiji felt like crying. 

 

 

"Hey," Tobio said, catching Keiji off guard. Keiji jumped up slightly, caught up in his thoughts, and looked over at his friend. Tobio snickered, "we're about to get out of the car. Do you have your cuffs?" 

 

 

The knot squeezed him so hard he felt faint. "Yeah," he replied, flicking the metal up at Tobio's eye level, making the other nod. He shifted his side, locking the cuffs in place on his belt, and clicked open his door when Tobio stopped at the curb of a sidewalk. His hands drifted down to his hips, tangling into the cuffs again, and he looked over at Tobio as they walked. 

 

 

"Ready?" He asked, almost to himself. 

 

 

Tobio nodded, pointing over towards Kuroo, who was stepping down the stairs of a building, and the two rushes over to the bottom of the staircase, making Kuroo squeal and flinch back. When he caught sight of the two, his shoulders sagged and he smiled down at them, walking further down the steps until he reached the sidewalk. 

 

 

"Hey, guys." He greeted, waving a bit. Keiji felt himself grimace. He was about to cuff him, a man that–

 

 

Tobio beat him to it. "Kuroo Tetsurou," he started, making Kuroo's smile drop. "You...need to come with us." 

 

 

"What?" He asked, voice drained and breathless as if he couldn't breathe. "Why?"

 

 

"I'm sorry," Keiji interrupted, pulling out his cuffs, "but we have to do this." He flicked them open, grabbing Kuroo's wrists and clicking the cuffs closed around them. Kuroo's eyes widened, hastily glancing up at apartments above him. 

 

 

"Keiji, what–"

 

 

"Get into the car, Kuroo," Keiji whispered, voice strained. Kuroo opened his mouth to reply, but Keiji stopped him. "Please." 

 

 

"Alright," Kuroo mumbled. "Okay," he continued to himself as Tobio opened the door and he seated himself. Tobio closed the door behind him, walking over to Keiji to pat his shoulder. The brunette moved away, instead choosing to quickly open the passenger door and slip inside without a single word.

 

 

Frowning, Tobio followed after him and tried many times to catch his eyes, but never once did Keiji look his way as they drove away. 

 

 

**\- - -**

 

 

Sachi exhaled deeply, making the hairs around his lips flutter slightly. He adjusted his glasses and looked down at the paper in his hands, reading silently to himself as he went down the page. 

 

 

Kuroo sat cuffed to the back of the chair, still and lifeless as the officer continued to read, with Tobio, Keiji, and once again, a few other policemen around the room. 

 

 

"Kuroo Tetsurou," Sachi started, "do you know why you're here today?" 

 

 

Kuroo shook his head. "No, sir. But I have an inkling." 

 

 

"And that is?" 

 

 

"Does this have to do with the murder of my fiancé?" He asked, voice dull. Keiji flinched. 

 

 

"Yes, it does. You see, as we went through phone records, your name popped up and happened to show that you called a few minutes before your...fiancé's death. May I ask you a few questions about that?" 

 

 

"Yes, sir." 

 

 

"Alright," Sachi muttered, adding, "as if you had a choice, but...first, before we play the audio recording of your phone call, may I ask what you said to him and why you called?"

 

 

"I called to see what he was up to," Kuroo admit, "it's normal for us. Koutarou was at home while I was working, my shift happened to be longer than expected, and I called to see how his day went and if anything was new." 

 

 

"I see," Sachi said. "Where do you work?"

 

"At a local meat packaging factory near here," Kuroo explained. 

 

"And what time did you work that day?" 

 

 

"I started work around six in the morning and ended up leaving at three-thirty in the morning." 

 

 

"Alright, then," Sachi cleared his throat and brought the laptop in front of him closer towards himself, peering over the audio files. Clicking onto one, he hovered over the 'play' button and peered up at Kuroo through his glasses. 

 

 

"We are going to play the audio recording of your call now," he explained, making Kuroo nod. "Please be silent." 

 

 

His finger pressed down against the mouse, starting up the recording, and the room went silent, then filled with static and murmured voices. 

 

 

 _"Tetsurou!"_ A loud voice cheered from one line, making Keiji hold onto the wall behind him. Tobio frowned down at him sadly and gripped his arm, pulling his hand onto his own arm to let him grip it. Keiji's fingers wrapped around his sleeve tightly.

 

 

_"Bokuto! How are you?"_

_"I'm good, just finished the dishes, though and my hands are killing me."_

_"Weak! Thanks for washing the dishes, I didn't want to do it today, sorry! Plus, I got held up at work and my shift changed, so I'm stuck here for a bit."_

_"Awe, man. I was really hoping you'd be home early tonight. I mean, I figured that you were held back at the factory 'cause you weren't home at eight like you said you'd be. It's okay, though."_

_"Mhm. I'll be home soon, Bo. So, how was your day? Anything new happen?"_

_"Yes! I found those cheesy sticks I've been searching for at the store today! They were half-off!"_

 

 

Keiji gripped onto Tobio tighter, feeling tears pool around the corner of his eyes. He whimpered silently, forcing them back. 

 

 

_"Yes! Those things were so good. We last had them, like, two months ago, right? When everyone came over that one time for lunch?"_

_"Yeah! And then they sold out and we couldn't find 'em. But I did!"_

_"You're adorable,"_ Kuroo's voice cooed through the phone, making a part of Keiji's heart break. _"Hey, I have to go, Bo. I'll see you at home soon, okay? Don't wait up for me, please!"_

_"No promises! See you soon! Love you, bye!"_

_"Bye!"_

 

The audio ended with a few loud clicks and static, finally ending with silence. Sachi pushed the laptop away from himself towards the side and looked back up at Tetsurou, who was silently crying to himself as he sat across from him. 

 

 

"I..." Sachi said, "I'm sorry for your loss, son. He seemed like a joyful kid."

 

 

"Oh, he was." Kuroo whimpered, wiping off tears with his shoulder. _"He was."_

 

"Kuroo," Sachi asked again, "can I have the number of the factory you work for, please?"

 

 

Kuroo nodded, whispering out the digits as he sobbed to himself. Sachi sighed and let the phone against his ear ring, listening to the voice on the other side greet him gruffly. 

 

 

"Hello, I'm officer Sachi, head of the police department downtown and I had a quick question for you, if I may?" Sachi uncapped his pen, scribbling down a name and asked, "one of your employees, Kuroo Tetsurou, what was his work schedule for last and this week?"

 

 

"I see...and what time did he last leave? Four? I see...well, then, thank you very much. Yes, you, too. Goodbye."

 

 

The officer closed his phone and set it back onto the table, leaning over it and glancing up at Tobio again. "He's free to go, Tobio. Let 'em go."

 

Tobio nodded stiffly, walking up behind Kuroo and clicking the keys against the cuffs, unlocking them from their hold on Kuroo's wrists. Kuroo sighed in relief, rubbing at them gently, and looked up at Sachi with a soft smile. 

 

"Thank you," he whispered. 

 

Sachi nodded. "Do expect a phone call from us soon."

 

Nodding without a single word, Kuroo left the room in silence, leaving everyone to stand and sit together in the cooped up interrogation room. 

 

 

Keiji leaned his head against the wall and sniffed, glancing over at Tobio for a moment, who gave him a small smile. A few of the policemen fled the room, along with Keiji and Tobio, and they decided to sit in the empty seats by the front doors of the station. 

 

Tobio plopped down beside Keiji, who had his hands over his face, and closed his eyes, tired. 

 

 

"...You okay?"

 

 

"No," Keiji suddenly sobbed out, voice muffled in his hands. "He's _dead_ , Tobio. He's gone and he's dead." 

 

 

Tobio frowned, feeling his own lips start to tremble, and he hesitantly wrapped an arm around the shaking brunette, setting his head against his shoulder. 

 

 

"It's going to be okay, Akaashi," he whispered. "It'll be okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why do I do this-


	14. Strange

_"Tetsurou!"_

_"Love you, too!"_

_"Tetsurou! Tetsurou!"_

 

 

Keiji sobbed, listening to the loud voice inside of his head, digging his face deeper into his pillow, missing a familiar warmth that used to stay beside him, wrapped around him, with him right there. He missed the way Koutarou used to laugh, loud and beautiful as if no one was watching. He missed the way Koutarou would smile, no matter the situation, he would always manage to smile and make other's do the same. 

 

He missed the feeling of Koutarou's arms around his waist in the early mornings of weekdays, secretly hidden under the sheets whilst the other was at work. He missed Koutarou and he couldn't do anything about it.

 

He didn't sleep last night, too caught up in countless daydreams of Koutarou's voice and smile, clouding up his mind as he shrugged off the slow close of his eyes. He had stayed up throughout the early morning and late night to replay Koutarou's voice over in his head, just like they had with the audio tape. 

 

He sighed, groaning as he rubbed his fingers over his eyes filled with sleep, and he leaned over into a slouched position inside of his blankets. He could hear his cellphone vibrating against his nightstand, deciding to ignore it, and closed his eyes in hopes of getting some sleep. Finally, his phone had gone silent against the wood beside him, letting him sink farther into the sheets and then it began to ring again. Groaning, he sat up quickly–too quickly, he thought as he held his head in his hands as the walls seemed to spin–and tapped onto it to answer, bringing it up to his ear.

 

 

"What?" He said, voice groggy and thick. 

 

"Keiji? I'm sorry, did I wake you?" It was Sugawara.

 

"No, don't worry, you didn't. I've been up."

 

 

"I'm glad! I, uh, I was wondering if we could meet up in a few minutes at the café two blocks down?" The other male asked, voice hopeful. Keiji smiled. 

 

"Sure, I'll be there in ten." He said, throwing the sheets off of his legs and flinging them over the bed to stand up. 

 

 

"Great! See you then!" Keiji mumbled a reply and hung up, standing and walking slowly over to his bathroom, taking clothing into his hands as he went, and shut the door behind him. He set the pile of clothing by his sink and pulled open the shower curtain, leaning down to twist on the warm water. He closed his eyes and leaned against the tile frame, listening to the relaxing sound of the water, and opened them again to step inside. As his foot felt the water, he squeaked and hit the wall beside him, feeling his skin tingle at the heat. 

 

 

Groaning, he closed the curtain beside him and switched up the temperature, mumbling profanities under his breath. His morning, he decided, was turning out horrible.

 

 

 

 **\- - -**

 

 

 

"Hi!" Koushi greeted, embracing Keiji gently as he stood beside him at the counter. The cashier smiled up at the grey haired male softly, giving him a small wave, which he returned, and continued to scribble onto a receipt. Koushi sighed, inhaling the smell of the coffee around him, and smiled over at Keiji.

 

 

"How are you feeling?" Koushi asked, "I heard about yesterday..."

 

 

"I feel horrible," Keiji admit silently, making Koushi frown. "But I'll be okay," he continued, lying through his teeth. 

 

 

Nodding, not trusting the other's answer, Koushi asked, "did you order?" 

 

 

"Yeah," Keiji mumbled tiredly, "you like iced mochas, right?" 

 

 

"You know me so well!" Koushi chuckled, patting Keiji's shoulder gently. He nudged the brunette's side, gaining his attention, and dragged him towards a table in the front of the café. He quickly sat down, patting against the table, motioning for Keiji to do the same, and he did, dropping down sluggishly into the seat in front of him. 

 

 

"Did you even sleep?" Koushi asked bluntly, making Keiji chuckle and shake his head. "Keiji! Sleep is needed for a man like you!"

 

"I know," the brunette replied. "I just couldn't no matter how many times I tried to. I couldn't...get him out of my head." 

 

 

"I see..." Koushi whispered sadly, "Keiji, I know you may not want to talk about this, but I went to the funeral home two days ago and asked about Koutarou."

 

 

Keiji's eyes widened slightly and his mouth went agape. "Really? And?"

 

 

"Like we suspected, Kuroo hasn't done a thing." Keiji frowned, opening his mouth to say something, but Koushi cut him off, "but he happened to call me this morning." 

 

 

"...What did he say?"

 

 

"Koutarou's funeral is next week," Koushi replied, smiling over at Keiji softly. "On Monday." 

 

 

"I see," Keiji whispered back, bitting down against his lip to hold back the tremble against his bottom lip. "Okay. Thank you for telling me this, Koushi...I appreciate it, greatly." 

 

 

"You're my friend, Keiji," Koushi said, "don't thank me. I know how much he meant to you, we all do, and you deserve a closure. He loved you, just know that. Now...coffee?" 

 

 

"Mm," Keiji mumbled, glancing over at the drinks standing against the counter, watching as the baristas rushed to make two drinks at a time. "Coffee sounds good right now."

 

 

"It always does."

 

 

"You're just a coffee addict, Koushi."

 

 

"Lies, lies," the grey haired male teased, winking over at Keiji. "You're starting to sound just like Tooru. I don't like it. _Stop."_

 

 

"Oh, how's he doing?" Keiji asked, smiling softly at the thought of his best friend. 

 

 

"He's doing well!" Koushi squealed out, smiling widely. Keiji felt his heart warm at the sight. So that's love, huh? "He preformed last night and did spectacular, Keiji! You should've seen him! He looked so good, too—"

 

 

"Yeah, never mind. Too much, too much–" Keiji gagged playfully, earning a smack to his arm, followed by a soft laugh. "That's great. I'm happy for him..."

 

 

"Yeah," Koushi trailed off, getting up as one of the girls behind the counter called out Keiji's name. "I'll get it," he told Keiji, already walking away from the table. 

 

As he sat alone, listening to the silent chatter from tables around him, Keiji whispered to himself. "Closure, huh?" 

 

Koushi quickly made his way back to the table, gripping their plastic cups down in his hands. He tilted his head to the side and motioned towards the door with one of his fingers. 

 

 

"Let's go for a walk," he suggested, more so demanded, and started walking away towards the door, Keiji trailing off after him hastily to catch up. Koushi held open the door with his foot, letting Keiji walk past him, and let go to walk beside the brunette as they went down the busy sidewalk. Handing him his drink, Koushi smiled over at Keiji as the other grabbed it and thanked him softly.

 

 

As Keiji sipped through his straw, he watched the people around them, smiling, laughing, or frowning to themselves or with other's as they walked down the streets. He felt his fingers tighten around his cup. 

 

 

"So, I was thinking that we could go visit Hinata today..." Koushi started, trailing off to hear Keiji's opinion. 

 

 

Keiji felt himself chuckle at the thought of the hyperactive ginger and nodded, saying, "I haven't seen him in a while. Sure." 

 

 

"Ahh, I knew you'd say yes!" Koushi smiled around his straw, sipping at his drink silently as they made their way down the block, approaching the white and pastel yellow painted building, labeled as 'All In Bloom.' 

 

 

Koushi opened the door, grinning widely when he heard the familiar ring of the bell against the door chime, along with a loud, cheerful voice greeting them from inside. The two walked in and took in all of the color around them, stopping at the sight of a small bundle of orange.

 

 

"Keiji!" The ginger yelled out excitedly, throwing his arms out to embrace the taller man. He gripped onto the back of Keiji's shirt tightly and nuzzled into his chest. "I've missed you!" He said as he peered up at the brunette, who laughed and patted his head. 

 

 

"Yeah, it's been a while since we last saw each other. I've missed you, too." 

 

 

"What brings you two here?" Hinata asked, gripping at Koushi's hands. Koushi looked over at Keiji and shrugged. 

 

 

"We just wanted to stop by and say hello," Koushi replied, smiling down at the ginger. 

 

 

"How sweet!" Hinata squealed. "Even sweeter than Tobio. He hasn't stopped by to say a single hello in, like, two days!" 

 

 

"Two...days?" Koushi asked, confused. Hinata nodded. "How is that–"

 

 

"That's a _long_ time," Keiji interrupted, sending Koushi a look. "I'll have to get on him for that later today," he added, making Hinata nod in agreement. Koushi shrugged and continued to sip at his drink. 

 

 

"Oh! I forgot..." Hinata said sadly, "I have work to do! Someone called us up earlier today and asked for all of the roses we have in the store...it was insane."

 

 

"Oh, wow." Koushi mumbled, eying the stack of rose rows behind the register counter. "That's...a lot. I wonder who's the lucky person receiving those."

 

 

"No idea!" Hinata replied, shuffling around behind the counter, reaching down to grab a watering can. 

 

 

"Well, since you have work to do, we'll get going." Keiji said, watching as Hinata nodded and went over to water his plants. 

 

 

"Thanks for stopping by, you two! It was nice seeing you again, Keiji. You better scold Tobio for me." 

 

 

"Of course, of course," Keiji laughed out, walking behind Koushi as they walked out the doors. "See you, Shou!" 

 

 

"See you!"

 

 

Koushi smiled as the bell run again, fading as they drifted farther down the sidewalk, and glanced over at Keiji again. "What time do yo–"

 

 

Keiji's phone rang loudly in his pocket, making Keiji put his hand up to pause Koushi as he fished it out of his jeans, unlocking it to answer and to put it up to his ear. 

 

 

"Hello–"

 

 _"Keiji, Taketora just gave us some really strange information and we need you down here right now."_

 

 

Keiji's stomach dropped. It felt like the day he was told of Koutarou's passing all over again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to add a little Oisuga in here somewhere :-)


	15. Targeted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"His name..."_

When Keiji and Koushi stepped into the room, they were bombarded with loud shouts bouncing off of the walls. 

 

 

"I didn't do it! _He did!_ I swear to you." 

 

 

"Taketora, for the hundredth time, who is _'he'?"_

 

 

"I can't say!" 

 

 

"Oh, for heavens sake," Sachi growled, slamming his hands against the table roughly, startling a few in the room. "You can say it and you know it. You said the same goddamn things in the first meeting and you're going to tell me now. Who is this man you keep talking about?"

 

 

"He's–why can't I do this?" Taketora whispered to himself, wanting to say it, to explain the situation. "Look, I'll tell you the entire story, you just gotta let me!"

 

 

"Alright," Sachi grunted, sitting back down into his seat. "Explain what you know." 

 

 

"This was planned out about two weeks before he actually did it..."

 

 

_"He's an inconvenience, you know that."_

_"I know, fuck, I was the one who brought this up. Do you think i would if I didn't know that already?"_

_"Alright, alright. Just saying..." Taketora grumbled, turning his eyes away. "When do you want to do this, anyway?"_

_"In two weeks from today," the man said, slipping over a packet to him. Taketora grabbed it and scanned over the contents, feeling nervous, but confident. "You understand what to do, right?"_

_"Yeah," Taketora replied, flipping over the papers and reading over them silently. "When do you want me to go to Ushijima's?"_

_"Tomorrow you're going to purchase the firearm," the man told him, handing him a small pouch. "This is how much you'll need. I already called up Ushijima yesterday. He has it ready for you and is expecting one of us to retrieve it. One of us as in you."_

_"Alright," Taketora said, nodding stiffly. He slipped the pouch into his bag and shrugged the strap over his shoulders to secure it. He looked up at the man and then glanced at the other male sitting at the corner of the room, frowning in confusion. "What's he gonna do?"_

_"He's the one who's going to do it."_

_"You don't mean..." Taketora whispered, shocked. "Him?"_

_"Don't act as if I can't do it," the male finally spoke up. "Don't underestimate me, Yamamoto."_

_"But why him?"_

_"Because I asked him to."_

 

 

"When I found out," Taketora gasped out, "that he of all people was going to do it, I didn't believe him at first. He's the kind of guy you wouldn't suspect. But...when the time came, after I purchased the firearm and gave it to them...he actually did it."

 

 

_"You're okay, right?" The man whispered, wiping his hands gently over the other's forehead softly, hoping to reassure the man, who nodded in response._

_"I'll be fine," he replied, giving the other a small kiss before he let go. "You'll be okay, too, right?"_

_"Of course."_

_"Are you sure about this?"_

_"Yes."_

_"And you'll be there in the car, waiting for me–"_

_"Babe, hey, calm down. I'll be in the car waiting for you and I'm absolutely sure. I love you, okay? I'll see you soon."_

_"Alright...see you soon." The man whispered, slipping out of the car and closing the door as quietly as possible. As soon as his feet hit he sidewalk, the man drove off, turning around the corner and out of his sight. He felt his shoulders sag and he sighed shakily, gripping his pocket tightly. He shook his head and turned around, walking into the alleyway he needed to get through in order to go unseen._

_The alleyway seemed too quiet as he made his way through the shady area, his shoes slapping against the wet pavement and his left arm grazing against the walls as he walked. He held in a grimace as the imprint of dust and sludge was left against his pullover sleeve, shaking his arm around a bit to get some of the residue off. When he realized that it was no use, he huffed and gave up.  
 _

_He shrugged their shoulder and drifted further through the alleyway, his eyes drifting around to search for any possible bystanders as they took in his surroundings. His gaze snapped forward at the sound of a few murmurs a few feet away and he gripped his chest out of nervousness, already feeling his heart pound at the pressure flooding his system.  
 _

_  
He peered around the corner, watching as the two murmurers smoke in silence, hanging off of the gates of the housing area sluggishly. One of the men looked his way, causing him to gasp and quickly duck out of sight, huddling behind the front wall of the alleyway entrance. The man blinked his way a few times, continuing to stare for a few moments, before turning away to take another puff of his cigarette.   
   
 _

_He waited for a few seconds, eying the two men in panic, before leaning back against the wall behind him and sighing in relief. He felt like a skeptical, covered from head to toe and hiding within the alleyway. He pondered for a moment, thinking of a way to look less suspicious when he would walk out of the alley.  
   
 _

_Shaking his head, he pulled out his phone to pretend texting, hoping to not catch too much attention. He reached behind himself to pat his back pocket, feeling the grooves of the item curved and cold within his grasp. With a nod of his head, he tucked the item back into his pocket and began to walk out.  
   
 _

_Tying away at the phone he held in his hand, he pretended to text a friend and made his way out into the open street. Bright street lights flickered above him and he couldn't help but shrink further into his hoodie.  
 _

_  
A few people were speaking amongst themselves in front of houses or inside of their cars, silent but stern, making him venture away from the other side of the street. He didn't want any unwanted attention drawn to themselves.   
   
 _

_When his feet managed to hit a sidewalk, he grinned, ignoring the feeling of guilt twisting inside of his stomach, and approached his destination silently. There was a large row of houses and apartment rentals in front of him some lights dim and other's off or bright. He looked to his left and inhaled deeply, feeling his pulse quicken.  
   
 _

_The house on the far left, at the very end of the street, was still bright and awake. The curtains were closed, but the light from inside was seeping through the cloth hanging from the window pane. He bit his lip, feeling the guilt at the pit of his stomach rising.  
 _

_  
"So, he'll be awake, huh?" He whispered to himself, swallowing back the bile rising in his throat. He watched the window as he walked for a few more moments, feeling his stomach tighten at the sight of a silhouette walking back and forth behind the curtains.   
   
 _

_Nodding to himself, he stopped and stood beside a bush and pulled his cellphone closer towards his face. He typed out a haste message and sent it out, hoping the receiver would act quick to his message, and shoved it back into his pullover pocket. He let his fingers brush over the item in the back of his pocket again, gently making sure it was in the right position, and he proceeded to walk forward.  
   
 _

_Tip-toeing up the steps, his sneakers barely brushing against a few plants that sat out as he went by, he approached the front door and gulped. He inhaled deeply, feeling his lungs scream at the harsh intake, and knocked softly, trying his best not to knock so hard that he'd disrupt the houses around him.  
   
 _

_He waited silently as the person inside shuffled to get to the door, listening to the padding of feet and clicks of the door locks. The doorknob squeaked a bit, twisting obnoxiously, and out came a man, tall and smiling brightly. The guilt pulsated around his stomach harder.  
   
 _

_"Hey!" He greeted, motioning for him to come inside. He stepped back, letting him walk through and he moved his arm out to shut the door but he stopped him quickly, eyes wide as he watched the door pause from closing. The man looked up at him curiously, head tilted to the side, and walked further into the house.  
   
 _

_"Do you have to go soon or something?" He asked, leaning against the wall behind him. "Is everything alright? It's been so long since–"  
   
 _

_"Yeah, I have someone waiting for me a few blocks down." He explained, somewhat truthfully. "I was in the area and I remembered that I had something to show you!" He exclaimed, grinning falsely and nodding his head in excitement.  
   
 _

_The man's lips twitched, spreading out into a large grin and he leaned forward, eyes drifting downwards to watch as he moved his hands down and towards his back pocket.  
 _

_  
"Okay, close your eyes," he told him, earning a small pout from the other. He huffed, rolling his eyes and motioned for the man to do as he said. The man groaned softly and closed his eyes, making the knot in his stomach tighten.   
 _

_  
He gripped the item inside of his pocket tightly with shaky hands, positioning his finger against the trigger, and slipped it out quickly, holding it out in front of him and tightening his fingers around the item. He felt tears pool at the corner of his eyes, guilt finally consuming him, and he breathed out shakily, watching the man smile excitedly, his eyes closed and unaware. His last smile.  
 _

_  
"I'm so sorry, Bokuto."_

 

 

"And...he killed him," Taketora whispered, slouching over his chair. "He killed him and left. I was waiting in the back seat for him and he came running and so scared. He was holding onto that firearm like a lifeline, sir. A lifeline. He told us _everything."_

 

 

"I know what I did was wrong, but...I'm so sorry, I can't say anymore." 

 

 

"Taketora..." Sachi began, "thank you for the information. But I still need to know the name of this man you spoke about. If I don't know him by the time we close up today, I'll know him tomorrow. We can be here all day." 

 

 

Taketora lifted his head up and looked around the room, taking in the wide, stern, and watery eyes around him, slouching and giving up.

 

 

_"His name..."_

 

 

 **\- - -**   

 

 

 

"He took me in today, he took me in–"

 

 

" _What?_ When?"

 

 

"When I got out of your apartment. They must've been following me, _I don't know–"_

 

 

"Tetsurou, _please_ , breathe." 

 

 

"They're onto us, _they know_. He fucking knows." 

 

 

"Who? _How–"_

 

 

"Keiji knows, _Keiji_ knows!" Kuroo screamed out, slamming his fist against the wall, scaring the other. "God, I hate him. He's ruined everything. _He did this."_

 

 

Kuroo growled lowly, gripping his head tightly. "He's another inconvenience."

 

 

"He has to go." 

 

 

 **\- - -**

 

 

 

_"His name is Kozume Kenma..."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it for today's spam! I overdid myself today, haha. I wasn't expecting to update so much. Sorry to leave you hanging on such a suspenseful cliffhanger! There's more to come tomorrow! :-)


	16. Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Good," Koutarou had joked. "Otherwise, I'd probably kill you before Tetsurou ever got the chance!"_

"What makes you think they know, Tetsurou?" Kenma asked, voice coming out as a pant as he ran through the house to follow after his shaking boyfriend. "They may not even know, yet!"

 

 

 _"Exactly!"_ The raven yelled back, _"'yet',_ Kenma! They will know and that's why I have to do this." 

 

 

 _"Why...?"_ The blonde asked, feeling his stomach tighten as fear trembled through his bones. He was a killer. He was going to be taken in. He's about to lose his life behind metal bars and cuffs, the both of them will be taken within the next few hours. _He killed him._

 

 

"...I despise Keiji, Kenma. He's just like Koutarou. A fuckin' nuisance, I tell you. He's...he's the reason why I'm _stuck_ in this position. If he hadn't been such an lying, conniving _asshole_ and hadn't been screwing my fiancé behind my back, maybe– _just maybe_ , everything would be okay!" 

 

 

"He took him away from me. But, at the same time...I didn't even love him, Kenma. I really didn't. When I gave him that ring, I felt so guilt. But he was happy, you know, and I guess that made me happy, too. I wouldn't have married him, I don't think. Koutarou knew that. We fought about, uh, a month before he died. It was a big fight..."

 

 

"What started...it?" 

 

 

"I came home late, talking about how I was busy at work when really, I was here with you. He was suspicious as hell and accused me of things he was _so right_ for saying, telling me that I didn't love him and that I won't marry him, and I told him the truth."

 

 

"...Which was?" Kenma asked, pressuring Kuroo for answers. 

 

 

"I told him I despised him. I, uh, told him he was just a roommate to me. He ended up leaving the house and coming back the next day, I 'apologized', and we weren't ever the same. He started accusing me more when I got late shifts and I finally had it and that's when I called you." 

 

 

 _"...I see,"_ Kenma whispered, wringing his hands together, feeling scared. "Kuroo?"

 

 

 _"What?"_ The raven spat out, tossing a few things into a small duffle bag. Kenma watched with wide eyes as he shoved the firearm into the bag, including a packet of bullets, and zipped it up hurriedly to throw it over his shoulder. He suddenly felt small. 

 

 

"...I love you," he offered, finally earning the other's attention. Kuroo's eyes softened as he glanced the blonde's way, turning around fully to embrace the smaller man tightly, gripping onto his back as if he were about to lose him. He feared that he may. 

 

 

"I love you, too. If anything happens, just know that it was my fault, okay? I'm sorry I put you into this position, Kenma, I really–"

 

 

"It's okay," Kenma whispered, digging his hands into Kuroo's jacket. "I wanted to do this. For _you."_

 

 

"For _us."_

 

 

_'Do you think they'll find us?'_

_'How long d'ya think it takes 'em to figure it out?'_

_'I'm so sorry.'_

_'I killed him.'_

_'I did this, I...'_

 

 

"It's always for you," Kenma whispered. 

 

 

Kuroo smiled, breathing in his lover's scent one more time and let him go, approaching the door to the apartment slowly. He exhaled deeply and glanced behind himself to look at Kenma again, and opened the door to walk out. 

 

 

"Lets go," he said, walking out and leaving Kenma behind him. 

 

 

Kenma whimpered, knowing fully well that it was too late for apologies. "I'm sorry Keiji." 

 

 

_'I'm so sorry, Bokuto.'_

 

 

 

**\- - -**

 

 

 

"Ken...ma?" Keiji whispered, feeling the blood in his veins turn to ice. _"No..."_

 

 

"I swear, I'm not lying," Taketora whimpered, tugging at his cuffs with every movement he made as he jerked around in the chair. "Kuroo didn't love him and he asked Kenma to do it for him. He just wanted someone to do his dirt work for him. Kenma didn't like Bokuto too much and Kenma's too lovesick to even realize what he was getting into." 

 

 

Keiji felt his eyebrow twitch. _"You mean to tell me,"_ he hissed, suddenly feeling his blood grow hot, "that Kuroo had been cheating on Koutarou the _whole damn time?"_

 

 

Taketora leaned back into his chair and huffed out, "yes."

 

 

"Tobio," Keiji grit out, making the raven quirk his brow and walk towards him. "We're leaving. Officer Sachi," Keiji added as he turned open the door, glancing back at the older man, "we'll go retrieve Tetsurou. We'll be back." 

 

 

He slammed the door behind himself and Tobio as he rushed out, listening to Tobio's feet slapping hurriedly against the floor when he tried catching up to the brunette. Keiji breathed in deeply, trying to control himself, and stepped outside. His hands drifted down to his belt, fingers running over the items attached to it, and he sighed. 

 

 

"Keiji," Tobio called out to him, running over to the side of the car as Keiji seated himself inside. "Keiji, calm–"

 

 

"Don't _tell me_ to fucking calm down, Tobio." Keiji hissed, feeling guilt pool at the bottom of his stomach, but at the same time, he was angered. He was angry that Kuroo had been playing with Koutarou the entire time and they could've been...

 

 

He shook his head, clearing up his thoughts, and drove out into the street quickly, flicking on his sirens and lights with his free hand. Tobio watched him worriedly, feeling a slight panic go through him, and he sat silently in his seat after Keiji's outburst. Instead, he decided to be patient. 

 

 

Cars parted way and switched lanes hastily down the streets of town as Keiji drove past them, startling them with the sound of his sirens echoing down the street. People walking amongst the sidewalks glanced around and watched him curiously, making him feel anxious. 

 

 

 _'Don't do anything stupid,'_ Keiji reminded himself, _'just cuff him.'_

 

 

And as he drove closer towards the same apartments that he and Tobio had stopped by the previous day, there were two men already gone and speeding down another road in fear as they listened to the sirens a few blocks away from them. 

 

 

 **\- - -**

 

 

_"Good," Koutarou had joked. "Otherwise, I'd probably kill you before Tetsurou ever got the chance!"_


	17. Warmth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize in advance :-)

The moment the door knob turned, opening slowly by itself with just a simple nudge, Keiji knew they were gone. 

 

 

"Dammit!" He yelled out, pounding his fist against the door. He rested his head against it, closing his eyes, and looked back down towards the street in search for Kuroo's car. He cursed out again, not seeing the familiar blue vehicle anywhere in sight, and ran down the staircase to rush back to his car. Tobio shot out questions directed towards him as soon as he step his foot into the car, slamming his door behind himself. 

 

 

He ignored the raven's questions, focusing on the road ahead and the sound of the shrill siren above him, flickering brightly as he sped down the road. His eyes flickered around the side roads, watching alleyways carefully, looking intently at people walking by, and he eyed the country road entrance towards the end of town. 

 

 

_"...answering me?"_

 

 

"Tobio," Keiji interrupted, asking. "Do you think they'd take the country side of town to get out of the public eye?" 

 

 

The raven went silent for a moment and bit his lip.

 

 

"It's a possibility," he replied, eying the country road they were now passing through. "His cars blue, right?"

 

 

"Yes," Keiji replied, speeding up when he realized that this was all just one long road. Pushing his foot harder against the gas petal, he sped through the weeds and gravel around him, eying the houses spread around the area. "Do me a favor, Tobio?"

 

 

"What?" 

 

 

"Call in back-up for me, just in case." Keiji mumbled, feeling fearful. He grit his teeth and pressed down harder agains the gas. Tobio glanced at him, concerned, and pressed in a radio code quickly. He heard a beep and leaned forwards in his seat, squinting at the distant dust fluttering over the window. 

 

 

"...is that..."

 

 

Keiji's eyes widened and he gasped, pressing his foot down harshly onto the gas pedal. He swerved the car, passing a few orange cones spread out onto the street, and flipped his lights back on to alert the car ahead of them. He cursed when the car began to speed up, knowing fully well what was about to happen. 

 

 

Keiji reached about five feet away from the blue vehicle in front of him, he noticed something. The car began to slow down and suddenly halted in the middle of the street. Keiji gasped, swerving the car to the side of the road to avoid crashing, slamming his foot down onto his breaks, and rushed to get out of the car. He glanced up at Tobio, feeling his heart clench, and nodded at him. Tobio lipped a few words to him as they got out of the car, hands gripping their belts and resting over the weapon they had set above their hip, and the two hesitated for a moment. 

 

 

"Don't run," Tobio whispered to Keiji, walking slowly towards the passenger side of the car. The drivers side door opened up quickly, making Keiji step back. Tobio glanced his way and grunted, unhooking the gun from the side of his belt, and holding it up slowly. 

 

 

"Step out of the car!" He yelled out, listening for any sounds inside of the car. Nothing was heard, making Keiji frown and start walking towards the open door in front of him. A leg shot out of the seat, making Keiji hold up his own weapon out in front of him, and he watched fearfully as Kuroo stepped out of the car, his own weapon in hand.

 

 

"Keiji," he started, grinning up at him as he fiddled with the firearm in his hands. He leaned against the car door and crossed his arms. "Long time no see, huh?" He joked, glancing towards Tobio, watching as the raven slowly made his way beside Keiji. 

 

 

"Oh, hey, Tobio." Kuroo greeted, chuckling bitterly to himself. "What's with the faces? _Jeez."_

 

 

Keiji grit his teeth and walked closer, making Kuroo step back slightly. "Put down the gun, Kuroo."

 

 

"Why should I?" Kuroo taunted, twirling the handle through his fingers. "When I asked for you to leave Koutarou and I alone, you didn't. So again, why should I, _Keiji?"_

 

 

"Put the gun down, goddammit!" Keiji yelled out, raising his hands out higher, his finger tightening around the trigger. 

 

 

"Aha," Kuroo laughed out bitterly, "...Koutarou was pretty foolish, you know? He lived with me for three years and loved me _so_ much–"

 

 

"Shut _up!"_

 

 

"...And he didn't even know that I didn't love him," Kuroo continued, grinning as Keiji's lips began to tremble. "Well, he did...I just chose to let him feel a little payback, you know? You...you ruined everything. If you hadn't gone and screwed my own fiancé behind my back, I maybe wouldn't have to do this."

 

 

 _"I_ loved him!" Keiji yelled, voice strained. "I wasted so many years hiding from your idiotic ass! I wasted about five years and you didn't even love him. _I did!"_

 

 

"Keiji–" Tobio whispered, watching Kuroo press his finger gently against the trigger of the firearm, hidden beneath his crossed arms. He stepped forward slowly, listening to the faint sirens in the distance, and watched Kuroo's fingers intently. 

 

 

"You're almost as stupid as Koutarou," Kuroo hissed, glaring at the brunette. "I knew the day I proposed to him, you'd be devastated. I loved it, the look on your face when Koutarou showed you his ring. Your face dropped and I loved it–"

 

 

"Keiji!" Tobio shouted, pressing down onto the trigger of his gun and shooting, watching Kuroo hold out his own and mimic his actions, only to then fall against the side of the car, screaming out. 

 

 

Keiji felt as if time had stopped, slowly beginning to freeze, as a small, black dot shot closer towards himself. His eyes widened, his arms trembling, and he quickly looked to the side, closing his eyes, jumping sideways to dodge the bullet. 

 

 

His body flew towards the ground, his hands scraping against the concrete with a few cracks of his knuckles, and he cried out loudly, feeling a pain he had never felt before. A searing, hot tear formed in his side, shooting in between two ribs, and he hissed when he felt multiple crushing punctures against his side. Suddenly, he went numb, the side of his body hitting the street and collapsing against the hot concrete. 

 

 

Tobio pant, listening to the sirens grow closer towards them, and ran over to the side of the car to haul Kuroo to his feet and cuff him. He gripped the raven's arms against his back, reaching down to grab his cuffs, when a click sounded off from somewhere beside him. He felt his eyes widen and he looked up slowly, meeting eyes with Kenma in the passenger seat. 

 

 

Tobio ducked, listening to the loud sound of a gun go off, and dragged Kuroo over the street as he crouched down, hurrying over towards the police car. He watched as a few figures ran towards them in the distance, making his lips twitch. He let Kuroo fall face first into the ground, groaning and crying out, and he clicked the cuffs around his wrists, shoving him against the door of his car. 

 

 

He heard footsteps hurrying towards him and he looked up, watching as Sachi, Koushi, and a few other's ran towards them and the two vehicles parked on the side of the road. Sachi rushed towards the passenger side of Kuroo's car, disappearing around it with a few shouts and yelps. A few other policemen followed after him, yelling out and flicking out their own set of cuffs. Tobio's shoulders sagged in relief, watching as Koushi's gloved hands picked up the firearm off of the side of the road. He sighed, looking down at the mess that was Kuroo, lying halfway into the seat of the back of his car. 

 

 

The raven panted through bright red lips, choking as his eyes threatened to roll back. "I hate you," Kuroo whispered, coughing out onto the street. Tobio hissed, shoving the rest of Kuroo's body into the backseat before slamming the door shut. He turned around and watched as Kenma was being forced inside of another police car by multiple men, screaming and kicking out defiantly. His hands reached up and he gripped the collar of his shirt tightly, feeling his heart pound harshly against his chest. 

 

 

"Tobio," a voice grunted out, low and strained. Tobio's eyes widened and he turned quickly, looking at Keiji as he was being held securely in a medic's arms.

 

 

"Kei–"

 

 

 _"Tobio,"_ the brunette cut him off and repeated, eyes partially shut as he watched the raven fade away. He was brought onto a stretcher, hands gripping at him and strapping him in, and he exhaled weakly. 

 

 

He remembers seeing multiple covered faces above him, a hot pain burning through his stomach, the thought of Koutarou's smile, and then, nothing but white.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> O u c h.


	18. Edge

He couldn't tell if he was awake or not, considering how bright the room he lied in was. He felt absolutely nothing as he lied there, besides the feeling of his own heartbeat thumping warmly against his chest. The world around him seemed so silent, a pin could drop and still not make a sound. 

 

 

The walls around him seemed so tall and wide, painted pure white, and there happened to be no doors, he noticed, as he looked further around the room. Keiji opened his eyes wider, gazing through the doorway in search for a sign of other life, and saw absolutely nothing but white. 

 

 

Confused, he sat up from his position on the bed beneath him, immediately missing it's soothing warmth. He gripped the edge of the bed with both of his hands, noticing how small he seemed, suddenly, as he looked down at his thin fingers. There were soft purple bruises forming over his veins on the top of his hand, stopping at his knuckles, making him grimace at the thought of the feeling. Yet, he couldn't anything. 

 

 

Testing things out, Keiji let his feet slowly hit the floor, toes slipping onto the cold tile. He sighed, shoulders relaxing at the cool feeling against his skin, ignoring the odd, dull warmth he felt at his side. He let his feet completely touch the ground, pushing himself up to stand, and he wobbled, throwing his arm out to grasp onto the stand beside his bed quickly. 

 

 

Keiji walked forwards a bit, his grip around the stand loosening, and he let go completely to approach the doorway. His eyes drifted around the room as he walked further towards the exit, noticing that nothing had been inside of the room besides the bed he had been sleeping on. He shrugged and looked up, only to stop and hold a hand to the side of the doorway. 

 

 

Green spread over the walls as he stepped outside of the room, followed by bright, red flowers sprouting beside his fingers and toes. Wiggling his feet, he stepped out further and watched in awe as the flowers began to bloom and spread around the room more so than before, brightening up the dull, white walls. He laughed out loud, feeling a odd thrill go through his bones and he felt like running. So, he ran. 

 

 

His laughter bounced off of the walls as he ran through the hallway, his hands shooting out beside him to trail against every flower and leaf that appeared over the walls beside him. He watched as the scenery around him changed colors, going from green to yellow, balls of pure sunlight orbiting around his form and around the room, making him feel lightheaded. He halted, screeching when his feet left the floor, hitting yellow air. 

 

 

He stepped back hastily, avoiding the small balls of bright light lied out before him, and gripped tightly onto the wall beside him, tangling his fingers into the flower he happened to be near. Catching his breath, Keiji slowly let go and lifted up his foot to stretch it outwards, tapping his toes against the yellow lights. It stayed still, the surface going flat at his touch, and he lifted up his other leg, stepping onto the next. 

 

 

Once his feet lied perfectly still against the firm lights, he let go of the wall and held his arms at his sides, feeling squeamish. He didn't fall, he noted, watching as more lights drifted up in front of him, creating a pathway. Looking around the room, he took in the yellow hues and swallowed dryly, following the lights around the room. He stepped onto every light slowly, cautiously, hoping he wouldn't collapse, until his feet hit grass. 

 

 

Confused, he looked down to see his toes tangled in between grass threads, his feet squishing a few flowers below him. He stepped off of them, watching them jump back to life, and he continued walking forwards, watching as the yellow light seemed to grow brighter. 

 

 

Keiji was brought to a dead end, he realized, when he stopped walking to be met with a large, transparent wall. Glancing through it, he could see nothing but the same white room he started in. He frowned, shivering at the cold breeze around him, and looked away from the wall. He grew overwhelmed by the sights before him, feeling dazed, and backed away from the wall. His back hit a hard surface, making him squeal and jump away, his back hitting the transparent wall. 

 

 

Keiji quickly turned around, hands slapped against the wall behind him, and he choked, feeling tears cloud his vision. 

 

 

_"K–Koutarou...?"_ He choked out, reaching out, only to pull his hand back. He let it rest against his chest, feeling his heart suddenly race, and he sobbed out in disbelief. "Is that... _no,_ you're dead. I'm dreaming–"

 

 

"Keiji," his voice whispered out, silkily and so comforting. The brunette sobbed out and rushed forward, hitting the hard surface of Koutarou's chest once again, embracing the warm arms that wrapped around his back. He shook against Koutarou, overwhelmed with the emotions he began to feel. 

 

 

"How are– _what?_ Where are we? Where am I?" Keiji asked, voice frantic as he took in Koutarou's features. He pulled his hands up to Koutarou's face, letting his hands cup his cheeks, and eyed the man's eyes intently. Koutarou smiled, making Keiji's heart throb.

 

 

_"Go home, Keiji."_

 

 

"What?" The brunette asked, frowning and slipping out of his daze. He watched as the other man slipped away and the yellow lights dropping with the ground beneath him. He screamed, watching it crumble beneath his feet, and he reached his arms out to the man above him, who watched as he fell, and Keiji felt his heart grow faster. 

 

 

His legs lost footing against every ball of light his feet hit, making the fall seem harsher and colder. He continued to yell out, hoping the other would help, and he grew silent, watching as the scenery faded beside him. Koutarou disappeared from his view, fading away with the flowers and light around him, and suddenly, the transparent wall fell out in front of him. 

 

 

He screamed out again, louder this time, hoping to alarm whoever was around, somewhere, and he covered himself with his arms, holding them above his face, and he watched it fall against him, feeling nothing once again.

 

 

_"I love you so much, Keiji!"_

_"I'm so sorry, Keiji..."_

_"One day, we'll both be happy."_

_"You'll be in love one day and be so happy with whoever it turns out to be, Keiji."_

_"Look, Akaashi! He proposed! Look at this!"_

_"I don't want to wear the ring anymore..."_

_"We got into a fight, but s'alright. I'm okay."_

_"I love you so much, Keiji. Understand that."_

_"You're so–"_

 

 

Keiji gasped, jumping away from his pillow, and gripped the sheets around him tightly. Sounds pounded against his head, blood hot against his ears, and he panted loudly as the monitor beside him screamed, alerting many footsteps to rush his way. His arms were being held back, tightened at his sides, and he could hear voices yelling for him to breathe. He could faintly hear Kei, maybe Tobio, yelling out to him, pleading for him to stop, but he couldn't. 

 

 

Everything felt so overwhelming, so fast, _he couldn't breathe—_

 

 

"Breathe," a voice whispered against his ear, their voice cold as it brushed against his cheek. He stilled, back arching off of the bed, and settled down into the sheets again. He closed his eyes, breathing in slowly, and reopened them to stare at the people around the room. He watched as Kei slumped back into a visitors seat, leaning back against the wall and clutching his braced arm, glancing to the side to look at Tobio and...Hinata? 

 

 

"Are you feeling okay, Keiji?" Said ginger asked, eyes wide as he stared at Keiji from his spot in Tobio's arms. He watched as the raven's arms tightened around his stomach, pulling him closer, and then looked up at their faces. He felt himself slowly nod, watching them sigh in relief and smile gently at him. 

 

 

He felt like smiling, too, until he realized where he was. "What...happened?" He rasped out, eying his body down. His bottom half was stuck in the bedsheets, tucked in neatly at every side, and his arms lie spread out at his sides above the blankets they piled onto him. He felt content, besides the fact that his side felt as if he'd gotten a rather large bruise. 

 

 

"You got shot in the side," Tobio replied, frowning at his own words. "Kuroo shot you in the side three days ago."

 

 

"Three days...? Does that mean–"

 

 

"That you've been out for a total of three days? Yes!" Hinata quickly butt in, answering him before he could finish his sentence. Tobio huffed out a laugh under his breath, smiling into the ginger's hair, and Hinata nodded sadly at the brunette. 

 

 

"And Kuroo and Kenma are gone?" 

 

 

"They're locked up at the station for now," Kei said, looking at the wall beside Keiji tiredly. "They'll be on trial as soon as you can make it."

 

 

"...I'm," the brunette coughed, gripping gently at the collar of his gown, "I'm so glad..."

 

 

"Keiji!" Hinata asked, bouncing in his seat. "Ask me what's wrong with you!" 

 

 

_"...Okay?_ What's wrong with me?" 

 

 

"You have two broken ribs, a torn ligament, the surgeons had trouble when they realized your blood wasn't flowing properly, but you're on a drip, so you're okay as for right now, and you have a fractured rib, along with a slight concussion due to the impact of your fall!" Hinata recited, seeming to excited with the subject of Keiji's health. 

 

 

"He, uh, memorized it," Tobio coughed out. "He wanted to be the one to tell you."

 

 

"Thank you for telling me, Hinata." Keiji said, smiling over at the other. Hinata nodded his head, grinning back at him. 

 

 

Keiji lied back into his pillows and sighed out, breathing slowly with the small spurts of cold air hitting his nostrils from the ventilator. He let his hands loosen their grip around the sheets, settling into the warm sheets, and closed his eyes. He kept replaying his dream in his mind, memorizing Koutarou's voice and smile. 

 

 

He swore, he was right _there._

 

 

"And...Koutarou, _he's,"_ Keiji paused, rethinking his words and backtracking. He sounded foolish, he realized, so he stopped. "Is the funeral still p–planned?" 

 

 

"Yes, Keiji," Tobio murmured out, smiling at the brunette. "After you're released, we'll begin setting everything up and getting things ready, okay?" 

 

 

"Mm," Keiji hummed, feeling drowsy. "Okay," he mumbled, drifting back to sleep. He listened to the quiet murmurs of the other's in the room as he lulled himself to sleep, his head turning and hitting the side of his pillow. He ended up drifting off to the smell of medicine, feeling of warm sheets against his skin, and the sound of a cold, sweet voice whispering against his thoughts. 

 

 

_"Breathe."_ It sounded nothing like anyone he knew.


	19. Experience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"You're dead."_

The hospital wasn't as quiet as Keiji's dreams predicted it to be, showing him white walls and no sound when all he could hear was small, almost inaudible gasps and cries as people, visitors, he presumed, walked into a few rooms, shutting the door behind them. 

 

 

He cringed when a woman whispered out a few words to the person behind the curtain next to him, silencing the patient's cry as she counted down to three. A small snap echoed through the curtains and Keiji closed his eyes, hoping to fall asleep instead of eavesdropping in on the patient beside him.

 

 

He lied back against the three pillows propped up beneath him and squeezed his eyes shut at the feeling of his side panging with heat, but it quickly faded away as he relaxed into the bedsheets. 

 

 

"Are you alright?" A feminine voice asked him suddenly, breaking the silence around the room. Keiji felt like rolling his eyes, but held back. 

 

 

He opened his eyes and moved his head to the side, eyes drifting sideways to be met with the nurse from a few moments ago, who helped the person beside him. She still happened to be holding the needle she used a bit ago, closed and held together with a cloth. He felt his fingers twitch at his sides.

 

 

"I'm...fine, thank you. Just tired, is all." Keiji replied, watching as she placed the needle into a box and onto the rolling table beside his nightstand. She nodded, smiling gently, and rummaged around through the items on top of the stand. Her thin, shaky fingers flicked around a few things, running across a few pens, and she picked the clear box with the needle inside up, turning around to leave. When her back faced Keiji, he felt his hand shoot and his mouth open wide.

 

 

"Actually," he rasped out, "when am I allowed visitors? Today, I mean." 

 

 

The nurse stopped, the shaking of the items inside of the box going to a silence as she began to turn back around and face him. She put the box underneath one arm and flipped her clipboard around to read off the schedule, mumbling silently to herself. She tapped her finger across something and sighed.

 

 

"You may have visitors around twelve today. That is, if you aren't released before then." She explained, laughing softly when Keiji's eyes widened and his head shot up from his pillow. 

 

 

"Released...? I'm being released today?" He asked, feeling his heart jump out of his chest and his fingers shake. 

 

 

"Yes," she replied, smiling. "You're being released either around eleven or two, depending on how our tests go today." 

 

 

"Tests?" 

 

 

"We need to make sure you're absolutely well enough to be at home now. If not, we may have to keep you here for another week or two. I'll be back in a few minutes with a few others to take you down to finish some tests up, okay?" 

 

 

Keiji nodded slowly, feeling his lips tighten and suck in. He closed his eyes, listening to her heels tap against the floor and the door flap closed, leaving him in silence once again. 

 

 

He began to relax, trying to shift to his good side against the bed to sleep, and ended up tangling his fingers around the ventilator tubes, making him cough and huff. When he untangled himself, he was lying halfway on his side, almost all of the way on his side, and he closed his eyes. It was better than nothing, he figured. 

 

 

He felt his eyes drift closed more so than before, if it even was possible, and he inhaled slowly, ready to sleep–

 

 

The man in the bed next to him sneezed loudly, hitting a limb against the bar against his bed, and then settled back down, making Keiji's eyes snap open, clearly startled.

 

 

He sighed, groaning softly to himself, and threw his arms up against his pillow. _"Never mind,"_ he muttered.

 

 

**\- - -**

 

 

He ended up sitting inside of various chairs with one arm out and another in his lap, being pinched on and wrapped. The sounds of multiple monitors stood at his side at times, scanning him as he leaned sleepily into the chair beneath him, listening to the nurses murmur to themselves and one another beside him. 

 

 

He happened to be released early, near ten, when the test results were given to him, explaining that he was well enough to be walking and on his own. He was told to have someone by his side often, making sure he was eating the right things, mostly fluids, for the next three weeks, in which he replied that he'd be fine and he would. He disliked the fact that he had to use a wheelchair twice a week, though. 

 

 

And without anything else, including no visitors, besides a few phone calls from Tooru screaming about _'why the hell they won't let him visit him,'_ and so forth. Keiji only shrugged to himself and lied, telling Tooru that today wasn't a good day to visit. 

 

 

It really wasn't, he thought. He wasn't in the mood, extremely tired, hungry, and in a bit of pain. Keiji groaned, slipping his bag onto his shoulders and sat slowly down into the wheelchair presented to him by another nurse, who was smiling down at him as she wheeled him away towards the front of the building. 

 

 

Keiji felt his lips twitch, concealing a smile, when he watched his mother get out of her vehicle, which was parked in the very front of the pick off section of the building, smiling brightly at him as she quickly walked out. She almost tripped on the steps as she rushed towards him, making Keiji snicker. He earned a small, playful glare when he did, however, and he only shrugged and held out his arms shakily, embracing his mother's warmth. 

 

 

She inhaled his scent, taking in the feeling of her sons arms around her, and nearly cried when his fingers tightened around her own back. He pat her back slowly, letting her let go and stand back to take in his now smiling face, and she clapped her hands together excitedly when the nurse laughed and let her take the handles of the wheelchair. 

 

 

"Are you ready to go home, Keiji?" His mother asked, voice low and soft above his head as she wheeled him towards the open car door. He nodded silently, reaching out and gripping the handle inside of the car, stretching his leg out and placing it onto the step outside of the car, and lifted himself up with a grunt. Panting slightly, he felt his mother push his back in softly, helping him sit down into the seat inside, and he sighed, relieved, when he was finally buckled in and comfortable. 

 

 

He listened to his mother hum as she folded up the wheelchair to put it in the backseat, hearing her shoes tap against the street and onto the car floor. She shut the door, shoving her key in, and started up the ignition, glancing at Keiji from the side of her eye. 

 

 

Noticing his, he only smiled softly and closed his eyes, letting the feeling of the car move softly down the road and the soft music his mother was playing lull him to sleep. 

 

 

 

**\- - -**

 

 

Keiji huffed out as he dropped his bag onto the entry mat below his him, the straps tangling beside his feet. He heard his mother honk her car horn from behind him and he turned, listening to her yell about visiting later, and waved her goodbye. When the sound of her car faded down the road, he let his shoulders slump and he turned back around. He rubbed at his eyes, annoyed as the tubes against his nose drifted out of one nostril a bit, and unlocked his apartment door, tossing the keys randomly into the dim lighted room. He reached back down, wincing a bit as he did so, and picked up his bag again, only to drop it back down as he made his way inside. 

 

 

He'll regret that, he noted, when he realized that it was on the ground again and he wouldn't want to pick it up with the pain boiling at his side. It was far too heavy, anyhow, considering that the hospital had him take home many various items regarding his health and recovery. Keiji flipped his finger against the light switch beside him and more light filled the room, making him exhale slowly. He was home.

 

 

He dragged his feet across the entry way and shrugged off his jacket slowly, avoiding putting pressure on his left side, and slipped out of his shoes, setting them aside. While doing so, he realized his mother forgot to give him his wheelchair. He sighed, knowing she'd bring it by later, and put the thought aside for now.

 

 

He fished out his phone from his pocket, scrolling through the horrendous amount of messages he had received since this morning. He chuckled, noticing Tooru's name and questions about whether or not he was released from the hospital yet mentioned in his notification screen more than once. He decided to not reply to any of them, yet, and instead tossed his phone onto the couch. He had been stuck and cooped up in that hospital room for two weeks and he didn't want to be bombarded with questions and voices at the moment. 

 

 

He shuffled around the room and ventured into the kitchen, reaching up to pull up the blinds on the windows to bring in the light. He opened up three windows, taking in the sunlight as he stood, leaning against the windowpane. Keiji frowned. It was too sunny for a time like thi—he coughed, stopping his thoughts from drifting any further, and backed away from the window. Shaking his head, as if it'd dust away his wandering thoughts, and adjusting the tubes around his cheeks, he drifted away from the kitchen to open up some more blinds in certain parts of the apartment. 

 

 

He opened up a few of the doors he happened to leave closed the last time he was there as he passed through the hallway, watching as more light filtered through. Nodding his head, satisfied, he walked towards the study, clicking it open and carefully reaching forward to open up the window beside his desk. He peered outside, watching cars pass by in a hurry, and he grimaced when his side began to sting. Backing away, his eyes drifted towards his desk top and he read over a few papers that were scattered on top of it, wondering what he had left to lie around while he was away at the hospital. 

 

 

Keiji ran his finger over a few sheets of paper, skimming through notes and work information, stopping when he found a sheet regarding his work ethic and old university. Grumbling, he shoved his chair out of the way and stacked the sprawled out papers together. Keiji shoved a few pencils to the side and put the stack of papers towards the side of his desk, clearing up the desk space. He looked over it and brushed his hand over it to get rid of excess pencil led that broke off and fell onto the desk, ignoring the way his side tugged at his insides. 

 

 

Standing back, he crossed his arms and eyed at it warily. He hummed, sedated for now, reminding himself to finish cleaning another day. Keiji reached a hand up to his face and ran his fingers over the tubes hanging from his nose, pulling it away from his face for a moment. He exhaled deeply, feeling a bit lightheaded, but assured that he could survive without it from that point. He bent down onto a knee, slowly unhooking the tubes from behind his ears and pulling them out of his nostrils, rolling the tubes together and placing them beside the oxygen tank beside his feet. He pressed down onto a button on the top of the tank and stood up, pushing it slowly towards his desk more with his foot. 

 

 

As he began to push his chair back into the desk, a small crack echoed from down the hall, making Keiji pause. Another small, similar sound bellowed from the same area, making him frown and look up towards the doorway to his room. Three more cracks sounded off, making him flinch. Keiji felt himself shiver, grimacing at the feeling of goosebumps rising against his skin. He slowly pushed his chair in and began to approach the open hallway silently, listening for the sound.  
He hummed, curious. Maybe he had left something out in the sun for too long. He waited by his doorway, listening. 

 

 

It was silen–

 

 

A louder crack came from the right, making Keiji turn his head. There stood a bathroom and a garden room. Leaning his head closer, tilting to the side, he eyed the rooms and held his breath. 

 

 

Another sound pierced his ears, louder and violent, and Keiji frowned. The sound seemed to be coming from the bathroom. Deciding to venture further to find the source of the sound, Keiji dug his phone out of his pocket, opening up his dial pad, and walked towards the bathroom as silently as he could. 

 

 

As he approached it, he could hear even smaller cracks crumbling in the room, as if something was spidering, ready to break. He gripped his phone harder. 

 

 

A few more sounds rattled against his ears and he froze, standing in the entry way of the bathroom. Beside the toilet and sink, there hang a tall, narrow mirror, crumbling away. Keiji bit his lip and walked into the room slower, watching the mirror spider and crack silently. His reflection was twisted, completely disoriented as he stood and watched it break.  
"What in the world..." he murmured to himself, bringing a hand up to his forehead in thought. Had someone come into his house while he was gone? 

 

 

A loud crack came out of the mirror, bouncing off the walls and making him jump, backing up into the bathtub. His hands flew outwards and reached to grip onto something before he fell, and he gripped the walls beside him tightly, ignoring the pain pooling at his side. Keiji breathed in deeply, panting in fright as the mirror seemed to smash itself in several places. His eyes drifted up his reflection, noticing that at the very top, there was a smashed and indented area, as if a fist slammed into it and caused it to break.

 

 

Keiji sucked in his breath, reaching a hand out, and placed two fingers against the large indention, hissing and pulling back quickly when he felt his fingers burn. He choked out a breath he never realized his was holding, and gripped his hand with his other. He stared down at it, shaking, and whimpered at the red marks adorning his finger tips.  
He had gotten...burned? Keiji snapped his head up and eyed the mirror in front of him. 

 

 

"What the actual _hell,_ " the brunette whispered out shakily, cradling his head in his hands as he tried to figure out why his mirror was breaking itself. It's physically impossible. _There's no possible way for it to–_

 

 

_'We're sorry, the number you've been trying to reach is unavailable. Please press one –'_

 

 

His eyes flickered down to his phone, cautious and scared, and he threw it towards the ground.

 

 

_'Failed call to Bokuto Koutarou.'_

 

 

 _"What the hell,"_ he repeated, eying down at his phone with wide eyes. He never dialed his number. He was just holding it. Keiji deleted his number a few days ago. He deleted it. 

 

 

He closed his eyes and shook his head, trying to erase the image of his phone screen from his mind as it went black. "What is this?" He whispered, as if he'd receive a response.  
Sighing, he opened his eyes and let go of his head. Keiji hugged his arms around himself and looked back up at the mirror. 

 

 

A shrilling scream sat at the back of his throat, suddenly stuck against a sob, as his mouth opened and closed silently at the reflection before him. 

 

 

The shadow of a man stood in the mirror, dirty and wounded as his palms pressed against the mirror, as if he wanted out. Keiji sobbed out dryly, eyes trailing up higher. A trail of red liquid splattered itself against the small, spidering cracks in the mirror, making him cry out and shake his head. 

 

 

"No, no." He whispered, _"I'm seeing things. I'm just seeing things."_

 

 

"Keiji," a voice whispered, cold and broken. A loud crack slammed against the mirror, making the brunette sob out and grip his head hard. 

 

 

"I'm just seeing things!" 

 

 

"Keiji."

 

 

"You're not real, you're _not_ real, you're _not real–"_

 

 

"I found you." They whispered out, voice growing louder. 

 

 

"You're _not_ here," Keiji shouted, angry. "You're _dead!_ You're not real! Go away!" 

 

 

A sickening crash broke the mirror to pieces, the small shards spiraling and spreading across the room, slamming into the walls and ripping open the window curtains behind him. Keiji screamed, dropping to his knees and ducking, holding his head against his knees.

 

 

"Leave!" He screamed out. _"Please!"_

 

 

"Keiji," the man repeated, voice raspy but clearer. A warm feeling spread across Keiji's shoulder, making him flinch back and pull up his head. The brunette pushed himself up against the bathtub and eyed the intruder through his tears, letting out frightened whimpers. 

 

 

"Koutarou...Koutarou's dead. You're dead. You're _not real."_

 

 

A warm hand reached out towards him, making him flinch back. 

 

 

"I'm asleep again," Keiji murmured to himself, "I'm just asleep. I'm going to wake up now. Wake up, _wake up, wake—"_

 

 

His body was thrown against the wall beside him, his back slammed into it with a loud and sickening sound and the room spun, turning black. He felt his back connect to the wall, yet he felt no impact. His side was still burning painfully, but all he felt was a freezing cold breeze wrap around him, embracing him as he fell unconscious. 

 

 

_'The number you dialed is currently unavailable. Please...'_

 

 

 _"Breathe,"_ the voice whispered again, closer and against his neck. He screamed, feeling the cold engulf his body, and let everything go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this even considered as 'horror'? lol


	20. Reality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is this???
> 
> Hey all! It's been quite a while since I've updated this story, I'm sorry to keep people waiting! I'm hoping to find more time to go through the original story and edit through chapters. 
> 
> After a long wait, here's a new chapter!

When Keiji opened his eyes, he was expecting to be surrounded by broken glass, lying lopsided in his tub, with a scream ready in his throat, but instead he saw the complete opposite. He ended up squeezing his eyes shut again, hoping that he was just dreaming, hoping that the broken glass were just fragments of his imagination like the balls of light he once stepped on. 

 

 

Keiji panted, feeling himself grow anxious, and he drifted one of his hands down beside him to feel around his surroundings. His hands felt cold tile, making one of his eyebrows quirk up in confusion at the feeling. He must not be in the bathtub, he figured, feeling relieved. Just as he was about to open his eyes, he was hit with another thought. If not the bathroom, where was he...?

 

 

"Are you going to open your eyes or are you just gonna sit there with them closed all day?" 

 

 

He screeched, slamming his hands down and backing up against the surface behind him. He refused to open his eyes, too terrified to see whoever he thought may be standing there before him, and instead, he cowered over towards the wall beside him, curling in against himself. He shivered, listening to the masculine voice chuckle, light and beautiful, oh, god, he missed it–

 

 

"Koutarou," he choked out, fingers gripped against the wall, hope filling his chest, "tell me I'm dreaming, please. Or I'll have to settle with the fact that I've gone insane." 

 

 

The voice laughed again. "Ah, well," they said between their laughter, "if I said no, you'd think you're insane. And honestly, I can't say that you are or aren't." 

 

 

Keiji frowned, fingers twitching against the wall, and he felt himself blink, willing himself to open his eyes. He breathed out shakily, fluttering them open to look for the source of the voice in front of him. He felt tears brim his eyes and he would've pinched himself if he could feel his fingers. 

 

 

"Hi," Koutarou whispered, trying not to startle the other male more so than he already had. He watched Keiji flinch at the sound of his voice, backing up against the wall again, and he frowned, sighing against his hand. "Keiji," he started, reaching a hand out, only to bring it back to his lap, "I know this may seem really crazy–"

 

 

"No," Keiji muttered, bitter. "This is absolutely normal. I meet with paranormal life on a daily basis."

 

 

"Keiji," Koutarou tried to reason, holding his hands up. "I get it, okay? You're probably scared shitless right now and probably still think you're dreaming and trust me, babe, you're not." 

 

 

"How...do I know that for sure?" The brunette asked, eying the boy in front of him cautiously, getting onto his knees to stand up. "How are you so sure of that? I dreamt of you the other day and, and–"

 

 

"Look, I'm not in the mood to hear you explain your wet dream about me, okay?" Keiji scoffed, almost choking on his own voice, and Koutarou smiled. "I know, I know, I'm taking this too lightly. But how do you think I feel? I was thrown into a world of black, I didn't even know what existence was. And suddenly, I'm tossed back here, alive, almost! I'm dead, Keiji!" 

 

 

"Don't say that," Keiji whispered, feeling guilt and sadness pool inside of his stomach. "Please...don't remind me." 

 

 

"Keiji...I may be whatever the hell I am right now, but all I know is that...I'm here, standing in front of you, and I can see you again and I feel like crying." 

 

 

Keiji sobbed out dryly, pushing his hands against the ground and bending his knees, jumping up to his feet to charge himself at the other male, throwing his arms up and ready to embrace him. He felt his arms curl loosely around Koutarou's sides, freezing cold and so...light, and he squealed, backing away from the feeling. 

 

 

"You're so cold," he stated, voice loud as he took in Koutarou's appearance. "What the hell." 

 

 

"Cool, right?" Koutarou joked, earning a harsh glare, to which he sighed at. "It's weird, I know. Maybe it's a dead thin–oh, shit, sorry." 

 

 

"I'm so confused right now," Keiji whimpered, placing a hand to his forehead, feeling a headache pound against his temples. "I don't understand this. What are you?" 

 

 

"I'm a 'who,' not a 'what,' babe." Koutarou replied, leaning against the mirror behind him. "I don't know, a supernatural being? A paranormal being? A ghost? How cliché!" 

 

 

"Shut up," Keiji hissed, finally taking notice of the mirror behind Koutarou. He tilted his head to the side, leaning over to peek behind Koutarou's form, and frowned. "That...that broke?" 

 

 

"Oh, this?" Koutarou asked, grinning widely. He turned and slapped his palm against it, no sound coming from the impact, and looked it up and down. "It was! But as soon as I touched it, it repaired itself! Cool, right?" 

 

 

"Not 'cool'," Keiji wheezed out, pushing Koutarou aside to inspect the mirror. He placed his hand against it, feeling the same warmth from before, and ran his fingers down the clear surface. He gazed around it curiously, feeling his fingers burn a bit when he stayed in one spot for too long. 

 

 

"How weird," he mumbled to himself as he continued to venture around it, gazing at the small details to spot any cracks. While doing so, he noticed Koutarou approaching him from behind, and he paused, watching as the man walked up behind him and wrapped his hesitant arms around his waist, gently placing his cheek against Keiji's shirt. Keiji flinched, taken back, and stared at the man in the mirror. 

 

 

"Kou...tarou?" He questioned, almost feeling guilty for doing so. He paused his fingers and looked down at the hands placed against his stomach, and slowly reached down to place his fingers against the other man's, feeling them twitch at his touch, but slowly relax. He felt his eyes close and his back lean against Koutarou, feeling familiar with this position.  
Keiji wanted to cry, feeling Koutarou against him once again, and he dug his face against the other's shoulder, only to hiss and move back. "Ah! 'Forgot you were cold!" 

 

 

Koutarou laughed loudly against his back, making Keiji shiver violently as he felt the deep rumbles vibrate against his back. He missed this so much. 

 

 

"I...I missed you," he finally said, making the man's laughter go silent. Keiji felt like backing away, hoping he'd drop into the mirror and wake up to reality, but part of him hoped that he'd stay, wrapped up in Koutarou's arms, and never have to wake up alone again. 

 

 

"I missed you, too, Keiji." Koutarou whispered, voice thick and watery against his shirt. He listened to the other sniffle, felt him rubbing his face against his back, and he allowed himself to smile softly, taking in the feeling he once missed, although cold, and he closed his eyes once again.


	21. Don't Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"I was thinking about you."_

 

"I, uh..." Keiji began, stuttering through his words. He was unsure of what to say. "I don't know what exactly to do now."

 

Koutarou laughed, his hands held against his stomach. He stared around the room, taking in the familiar atmosphere. He had missed this. "Well...you've already wasted an entire afternoon, _so_ -"

 

"And who's fault is that?" Keiji shot back, crossing his arms over his chest as he sat himself back to sit against the sink. He tapped his fingers idly against the sleeves of his sweater, watching Koutarou wiggle around nervously where he sat. The brunette sighed and turned around, facing away from Koutarou as he laughed lightly to himself. It was a soft, bitter sound. Koutarou's head perked up and he looked at Keiji curiously.

 

"I...am talking to a 'ghost' right now. A _ghost_." Keiji mumbled, continuing to laugh. "...Or _whatever_ you are. I'm talking to you and it's weird as hell."

 

"Hey!" Koutarou exclaimed, eyes wide as he watched Keiji's laughter grow louder and his cheeks turn red as his smile spread high. He felt himself begin to smile, too. He watched Keiji double over the sink, his fingers gripping the edge of the marble in amusement. Koutarou felt a twinge in his chest, enjoying the warmth that he began to feel, but it went away as soon as it came. He sighed. 

 

"What? I'm being honest," Keiji replied, shrugging his shoulders and clearing his throat to shove down the laughter pooling in his throat. He straightened out his back and leaned against the sink again, hoping something would keep his wobbly knees from collapsing beneath him. He felt nervous as he watched Koutarou stand, beginning to pace around, almost as if he, too were nervous. It put Keiji on edge. 

 

"Koutarou, I feel like you've been hiding something from me," he finally admit, biting gently at his thumb. He felt hesitant, not wanting to bring it up. He didn't want the other to realize he'd been paying close attention this entire time. He hadn't meant to speak up about it, not really wanting to hear what Koutarou had to say. Afterall, why was he there? He's dead. 

 

Keiji still feels like he's dreaming. (He's not ready to wake up to an empty bed again.)

 

Koutarou paced around the small room, stopping to open his mouth and speak only to close it again. After a few times of trying to speak, he'd stop and never finish his sentence, moving onto another topic. He seemed to not want to speak about whatever it is that was troubling him. It bothered Keiji. He felt as if Koutarou didn't want him to know something and it was driving him mad. 

 

"Well, hm." Koutarou spoke, voice shaky. He was taken aback by the random question, Keiji could tell. Koutarou paused, suddenly standing still. "Um, hiding...what?" He asked, defensive. His brows furrowed and Keiji almost felt like laughing, amused by Koutarou's facial expression. The situation was far too serious for that, though. "I have nothing to hide from you, Keiji." Koutarou continued. 

 

 _"Bokuto."_ Keiji interrupted, voice growing loud. "I've known you for over six years. I think I can tell when you're lying to me."

 

Koutarou's face dropped, his arms loosening from their hold across his chest and he let them fall limply to his sides. He made a choked-off sound, almost inaudible, but Keiji caught it. Koutarou turned his eyes away. 

 

"Promise not to freak out...?" He asked, voice small and hopeful. 

 

Keiji's eyes lingered on the other's face, watching for any change in his expression. He nodded, "I promise."

 

They sat in silence for a moment. Koutarou inhaled deeply, letting out a shaky exhale. "I, uh, I've been...following you for a while now, Keiji. Before this, I mean."

 

_"Wha-"_

 

"Let me finish," Koutarou cut in, holding a hand up. "I've been around you way before this, before wanting to show up. The first time was when I, uh, overheard you talking to Tobio. About us."

 

Keiji jolted, his eyes quickly closing shut. He sat in silence for a second and then blinked his eyes back open to stare blearily at Koutarou. He bit his lip, trying to find the right words to say. "What do you mean? That doesn't make sense. I'm confused."

 

"You said that you loved me," Koutarou whispered, his eyes lowering and his voice growing fond. Keiji felt his fingers grow cold. "And you said that I loved you, too."

 

"...Oh. Oh." Keiji said, his heart running around in his chest. He could feel his stomach knot and his fingers twitch, cold and numb. 

 

 _"I love you."_ Koutarou whispered. "You were right. I love you."

 

"Koutarou..." Keiji replied, voice hushed and wavering. He could feel a familiar burn prickle his eyelids. He also felt overwhelmed, trying to process Koutarou's words. He resisted saying them back-he couldn't. It would hurt too much. 

 

"I was there when you told him how much you loved me." Keiji hated how he spoke in past-tense. "I was there when you...when you almost got _hurt._ T-the bullet was so close and I tried so hard to stay still but I couldn't, Keiji. I _had to do it."_

 

"'Had to what,' Koutarou?"

 

"I pushed you," the other whispered, dazed, replaying the scene in his head. Keiji sucked in his breath.

 

He felt his back hit the sink harshly, not even realizing that he had been sitting forward, getting closer, the whole entire time. He tried to stop the overwhelming feeling grow in his mind. "You mean to tell me," he began, voice slurred. "That the feeling I felt everywhere-that was _you?"_

 

"I touched you," Koutarou choked out. "I tried not to interfere but I couldn't just stand there and watch something happen, Keiji!"

 

"Where else were you?" Keiji snapped, his hands fisted against the counter around the sink. 

 

Koutarou flinched and hugged himself nervously, shifting his feet around the floor. "I was sitting in the ca with you after that. You were crying and I tried _so_ _hard_ to hold you. I was with you the entire ride up to the hospital. I was there, too, with you and Tobio. I sat next to you and you seemed to out of it."

 

"I was thinking of you," Keiji whispered, trying to keep his heart at bay.

 

Koutarou smiled softly, looking down at his shoes. "I know. I heard what you said, about not cherishing me. I hated how hurt you looked and I just, kind of leaned against you for a while. That was the last time I touched you. After that, I tried not to interfere. 

 

"And then...you came here," Keiji mumbled. Koutarou nodded solemnly, biting at his lower lip. "You were really with me...all of those times?" Keiji asked, his voice raspy. He swallowed thickly, ignoring the dry lump he tried so hard to push back down. He got onto his knees and grasped at the counter, pulling himself up to stand. He began to slowly walk towards the other. "You helped me and I didn't even know it."

 

 

 _"I didn't help you!"_ Koutarou yelled, causing Keiji to take a fumbled step back at the outburst. "You were shot, Keiji. You were in the hospital and I couldn't even bring myself to go see you. I just...couldn't."

 

"Koutarou, that's _okay-"_

 

"No!" The other shouted, making Keiji wince. The other noticed this and frowned, lowering his voice. "No, it's not. I should've helped you. All I keep seeing is you falling and it _hurts."_

 

"It's not your fault, Koutarou." Keiji whimpered, walking up to the other silently. He reached up to cup his hand around Koutarou's cheek, flinching when he was hit with cold air. He bit the inside of his own cheek and held back from wanting to run away from the chill going through his veins. Keiji rubbed his fingers over the other's airy tears, leaning in to kiss the skin under Koutarou's left eye. 

 

Keiji felt his lips nearly stick, growing ice cold against the other's skin and he hastily pulled away to watch as Koutarou's expression rose. His cheeks grew warm as he watched Koutarou's lips twitch upward and his eyes grow wide. He chuckled under his breath, taking in the feeling of Koutarou's skin and he stared at his own fingers as they roamed around in circles against Koutarou's cheek. 

 

"I...I love you. _So much."_

 

Koutarou breathed in shakily, his hands going to grip Keiji's waist. He pulled the other into his chest. Keiji was expecting to feel the freezing impact again as his face went forward to hit Koutarou's chest, but he didn't mind. He hummed against the feeling, holding back the shivers that rattled down his spine and shot up his veins. Instead, he learned further into the other's embrace.

 

"Hey, Kou?" Keiji mumbled out against the other's shirt, digging his nose further into the cold material. Koutarou hummed in reply, rubbing his hand up Keiji's back. The brunette sighed, asking, "...will you have to leave me again?"

 

Koutarou stiffened but his shoulders slumped as soon as they jolted upwards. Keiji put his chin against the other's chest and looked up at him. Koutarou sighed, defeated. "I don't know."

 

"Mm," the brunette mumbled, closing his eyes and tilting his face, moving it back to press his ear against his shirt. "Please don't leave me again. Don't go."

 

Koutarou's fingers twitched against Keiji's back, pausing against the brunette's spine and he closed his eyes, too. He leaned his head against other's hair and breathed out, replying, "I won't, Keiji."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ow.


	22. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Don't leave me alone."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been quite a while, hasn't it? I apologize for the long wait! I've been so caught up in life and just now managed to take a look at this. I hope to complete this by the end of this week, so expect some more updates for the next few days. 
> 
> Anyways, here's a new chapter after a long wait!

 

When Keiji woke up the next morning, he felt warm, the chill from the night before long gone. Through low lids and the sleepy haze, he looked around the room. He mumbled a string of incoherent words and began to sit up against the headboard of his bed so he could stretch out his limbs. He let out a yawn, feeling the knots in his stomach fade away slowly as he spread out his arms. Squeezing his eyes shut to get rid of the haze, he winced. The itchy feeling of his puffy eyelids from the day before had not left him, it seems.

Keiji groaned, noting to himself that he'd need to clean up the small space he occupied last night. He had left pieces of clothing slumped over multiple open surfaces. Deciding to ignore the fact that his room looked like a mess, he slipped out of the sheets wrapped around his legs and set his feet onto the ground, relishing the warmth the carpet gave him for a moment. 

He stood up on wobbly limbs and padded sluggishly over towards his bedroom door. Keiji huffed at the obnoxious creak of his door and sauntered down the hallway towards the kitchen and living room entry. He rubbed at his eyes and felt instant regret, forgetting the mistake he made seconds ago. He hissed when his finger ran across the raw skin of his eyelid. Dabbing a finger against the bottom of his eye, he squint to look around the room.

"Koutarou?" He rasped out, turning around the corner of his kitchen. Keiji frowned, bewildered, as he looked around. He expected to find Koutarou seated at the kitchen table, possibly waiting for him to wake up or reading something. The thought amused him; Koutarou seemed to enjoy reading as much as Keiji did and it baffled him when he had first witnessed it. 

But Koutarou wasn't there. There was no impatient man waiting for him. There was no one reading. Keiji felt his stomach begin to knot again and his skin grew cold. Forcing a small smile onto his face, Keiji started to stumble around the room. 

_Think positively_ , he told himself. _He's somewhere around here. Hiding in a closet, maybe?_

He felt himself shiver as he turned to quickly walk towards the living room. Keiji felt his thoughts speed around his head, too quick to catch, and he began to panic. The house was too quiet. Surely, Koutarou would have heard him walking around and would come to greet him? 

Keiji clutched his shirt in his hands, knuckles growing white. The loveseat towards the left of the room was empty and the sofa by the television was empty, as well. The magazines from the day before were still sprawled out on the coffee table by the sofa, collecting a bit of morning dust. Keiji reached up to put a palm against his forehead, feeling his thoughts come to an abrupt thought. Shaking his head to rid of the congested feeling of his head, he rushed down the hall. 

It seemed like hours had went by as he searched through every room in his apartment, slamming open doors, only to slam them closed in frusteration. Now, he began to panic. His breaths came out short and harsh as he ran through the same rooms over and over again, hopeful. 

"Koutarou?!" He called out, listening to himself echo. Keiji received no response. He felt a chill run down his spine as he slowed down, coming to a stop in front of his front door. He turned his back towards it, hitting the hard wood, and he slowly slid down to the ground in grief. 

_You're just overthinking things,_ he told himself, trying to catch some air. His lungs burned. _He's probably roaming around somewhere, he'll come back. He used to do this all of the time, remember? He'll be back._

Keiji felt a familiar and unwanted lump clog in his throat, making his tears more obvious now. He choked on a sob, slamming his fist against the ground beneath his fingers and he let himself cry.

"You're crying over nothing, Keiji." He continued to reassure himself, "he's coming back soon. He _always_ does."

Keiji carried on, speaking to himself in choked off mumbles, trying to calm himself down as many moments passed. He hadn't heard a single sound except for his own shaky breaths. He hoped that he would hear a whisper of his name echo from somewhere around the house, hear a book shuffle, or hear Koutarou's voice from somewhere around the apartment but he heard nothing but the blood rushing to his ears. 

Keiji felt lost again. It was as if Koutarou was never there.

He coughed out a cry at the thought. "Was I dreaming? _No, no. I wasn't._ "

Repeating the same words to himself, more time went passed. Keiji tried to contain himself before the other man came home. 

Keiji expected to be engulfed in icy, yet warm arms within an hour. He expected to be told that he was missed, loved, and asked Koutarou's usual, loud questions. 

But he expected too much. The other man never came home. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just published a new Bokuaka fic called October Fling and I'd really appreciate it if you'd check it out! Thanks a bunch!


	23. Content

Days seemed to pass by like years for Keiji. He remembers clawing at his bedsheets in grief, tugging at the soft cloth in a bruising grip as he whimpered into the sheets. He recalls the words he screamed out into the open room, only for the walls to hear and echo back to him. He regrets it. 

_"You said you'd stay!"_ He had yelled, throwing the pillow he had been lying on across the room, wishing it hadn't of missed the coffee mug sitting on his desk. 

"You said you'd never leave me again!" Another pillow was thrown, much smaller this time, but harder. Keiji had watched the mug skid over the desk and smash against his chair, hitting the floor with a few _thumps_. It felt relieving at the time, but as he looks back at it, it wasn't. 

He remembers crying out louder as time went on. He tried his best to keep himself quiet with blankets, pillows, _anything_. "Liar!" He had repeated through his apartment, hoping it'd somehow reach Koutarou, wherever he may be. 

He ended up giving up with his ruckus a few hours later, succumbing into the drowsiness that held down his limbs like ropes. Finally, he fell asleep. 

Keiji remembers waking up to nothing again the next morning. It was as heartbreaking as the morning before and the morning of Koutarou's death. Each morning was always the same for him afterwards. Every morning started and ended the same way; try to get up, ignore the urges to break something out of anger or sadness, and go to bed. He hated sleeping. It meant he'd wake up to the same routine. 

He learned to slowly stop himself from waiting at the doorway some nights, hoping to see a man walk towards him with his arms spread wide, ready to embrace him. Keiji learned to occupy himself with something else, keeping himself from feeling as if he was slowly going insane. 

Work went slower after Koutarou left. After the incident, Tetsurou's wounds were attended to at a local hospital and he was then immediately sent back to go through trial with Kozume by his side. He remembers watching them walk into the courtroom, adorned with orange suits and metal locked around their wrists. He remembers Koutarou's family crying and arguing behind his seat. 

The judge had eventually came to a decision after a few long hours. His words etched into Keiji's mind permanently and he remembers hearing the relieved cries and sighs, including his own, mix with the crowd. 

Twenty-five years in prison. 

Keiji let himself cry one more time, clinging to Koutarou's mothers arms as she mumbled words of relief into his neck. He caught eyes with Koutarou's father, the older mans eyes crinkling as he smiled, and he broke. _He looked so much like him. He'll miss that smile._ He closed his eyes and hugged the woman in his arms tighter. 

He'd have no one to embrace in his small apartment in the mornings. No one to argue with over what to have for breakfast or how he'd like his eggs. He'd won't have to buy more books because Koutarou _needed_ them. Koutarou's mother won't have a son to bug until he eventually came over to visit. She wouldn't get to watch her son smile at the things he loved. She wouldn't get to see grandchildren. His father wouldn't get to watch his son grow older. He wouldn't have a son to answer questions for when Koutarou's car _always_ broke down. He had no one to give advice to. 

"I promise to visit as much as possible," Keiji remembers whispering to Koutarou's mother. "I promise."

If she started shaking, neither mentioned it. He let her have this moment. 

Keiji felt drained a few days after that. Koutarou's case didn't end at that and the two families, including himself, were back in a courtroom a week later. Ushijima was arrested for selling illegal weapons, including a weapon that was knowingly sold to someone who commit a murder. Taketora was charged a few hours after that, much to Keiji's relief. 

Tobio had stayed with him through the long nights at the office for quite some time after the first part of the trials ended, fading into a hazy memory after that. After multiple weeks of long nights with the other man, they dug up more evidence. At the scene of the murder, Kozume's DNA was found around the doorway to Koutarou's house, including the flower pot around the porch and front steps. Small, but there. Aone and Tsukishima had later found more evidence to release after they had searched through Tetsurou's apartment. Jackets and gloves, including the illegal weapon used, were hidden beneath a staircase and tucked underneath wood panels.

Tsukishima used this new information and had taken over the courtroom for the second part of the trial after his recovery, and the case was officially closed half a month later.

The rope around Keiji's heart seemed to loosen it's grip sometime after that.

Keiji sighed, rubbing at his eyes as he flipped through the last few pages of the file he had out in front of him. He glanced over at Tobio from the corner of his eye, watching in amusement as he and his fiancé tried to hide a few small kisses as he worked. He chuckled, fingers skimming the last two pages and collected them into a pile to put away. 

He paused, a bittersweet smile forming on his face as he gazed down at the file. There lie two double-sided pages, one in which contained Tetsurou smiling lazily at the camera in a monochrome mugshot, and the second containing a photo of Koutarou's bright smile, practically jumping out of the I.D card attached to the folder. Keiji sighed, his finger trailing down the page and stopping at the very bottom left corner. There lie three handwritten words, scribbled and bold, staring back at him. 

 

**_'Case closed; resolved.'_ **

 


	24. Red

The sky was bright and warm, they noted. They gazed up at the clouds as they seemed to stay still, only to be moving slowly and drifting around the sun in a trance. There was warmth of the sun burning against their back, seeping through their black coat. A warmth that was welcomed.

The cemetery was silent that morning. A small breeze whistled around them as they ventured through the grass. Their footsteps echoed as their heels slapped against the rocks that peeked out here and there between their shoes. They were getting closer to where they desired to be.

No one was around just yet and they were thankful for that. They approached an open door, stopping at the very middle of the doorway when their eyes met an empty room. They closed their eyes and swallowed down the lump that seemed to forever stay in their throat, and continued to keep walking. 

They inhaled deeply, not daring to look around the room. Although, no one was there to watch them, they felt as if they were being watched by something, not someone. They nodded to themselves, forcing their eyes open again, and walked up to the center of the room. They held up their left hand, gripping onto a bouquet of crimson roses they had gotten an hour before, and sniffled quietly. They had worked slowly, taking one final look at the person below them for closure, and closed their eyes as they turned around to walk back out the door.

Their heart felt lighter. 

On the day of Koutarou's funeral, there lie three roses beside his coffin, placed by a trembling hand. The roses were aligned directly against Koutarou's hand, as if he were to be holding them, and the trembled hand let go. Their grip loosened and suddenly, the air in their lungs grew cold. Two hands reach outwards, closing the coffin with one single whisper of goodbye and left, only leaving their footsteps to echo behind them.

No one understood how the flowers got there. They didn't understand why they were placed the way they were. Three red roses, the only ones amongst all of the other bundles of colorful petals placed gently against the resting mans hand. Phone calls were made to the many who attended the viewing, unable to figure out how the flowers came to be. The florist was flabbergasted. The flowers whereabouts before arriving on the coffin were unknown.

But somewhere, there on a bed lie a brunette, eyes closed and mouth drawn into a tight line. With tears catching against his lips, he knew the truth. It was silly, really, he thought. He let himself smile through the burn in his lungs. He didn't attend his ex-lovers viewing, people whispered behind his back. They eyed him as he walked out of the room before the coffin was cracked ajar. He couldn't bring himself to look.

So he left and found himself drifting back, confident enough not be caught, and found himself kneeling over the man he once made room in his heart for. The boy he grew up with and adored. The boy who grew into such a wonderful man, eyed closed and hand brushing against roses.

He didn't need to look again. 

No one had to know. 

And just the thought makes Keiji smile.


	25. Closure

_"Breathe."_

 

A few months have gone by. He hasn't gone out with friends in quite a while. His mind felt foggy as he walked down the streets again, listening to the loud laughter of his friends behind him, taking in the sound of happiness and letting it sink through his bones. Keiji breathed out deeply, hoping that it wouldn't catch any attention from the others, and shoved his hands into his pant pockets. He felt tired and sadly to say, lonely. Although, there were four men trailing behind him, their presence was nothing like Koutarou's. Their voices, their touch, their smiles...they didn't compare. 

But he could live with that, Keiji realized. He walked a bit slower, waiting for his friends to catch up to him and match his pace. They nudged his shoulders, whispered nonsense into his ear and leaning away to laugh. It made him chuckle. He could live with Tooru's constant teasing, Koushi's motherly ways, Tobio's stiff smile, and Hinata's large laugh. 

He could live without the various ways Koutarou would spark fires in his stomach, the way his fingertips would tiptoe against his spine to eventually curl into his hair. He could live with the feeling of the wind brushing against his cheek, knowing fully well that Koutarou wasn't behind the cold touch, but he'd like to think so. So, he will.

He glanced at his sides, taking in his friend's wide and small smiles with a twitch of his own, tugging it's way up against his face. Keiji clenched his fists together in his pockets and blinked up at the breeze around him, watching it tickle the tree branches and make them move about. He let his gaze stay still for a moment longer before walking into a familiar coffee shop, filled with warmth. 

As he sat himself down, surrounded by the personalities and happiness of his companions, he relaxed into his seat and let the warmth he missed embrace him. He would live without the cold, he thought. Only for a while. 

Instead, he could live with the soft smile the barista gave him as he worked behind the front counter, glancing away when his eyes connected with Keiji's. The smile may have been similar to another's, but he could live with that little familiarity that he craved.

And if his legs slowly drifted themselves towards the register, and he happened to give the man a warm smile of his own in return, he could live with that, too.

 

Slowly, he'd get the happiness he craved to have back.


	26. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"You almost were."_

_"Kuroo Tetsurou, age twenty-four, charged for murder and crime of passion, was sentenced twenty-five years in prison..."_

 

"Why did you do it?" Kenma whispered, voice dull and barely audible in the silent room the two men were in. Their hands were cuffed to the tables they sat at, set apart and facing each other. The raven had not once lifted his head up as he was being questioned, nor had he spoken to Kenma. 

He only sighed, sounding as if he were too tired to listen to the blonde. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You do," Kenma hissed, feeling his hands clench against the table. He glared, yelling, "you said you didn't kill him. _I_ did. It was all _my_ fault. _I_ planned this. I _wanted_ this. You pleaded guilty when you're as guilty as I am. Why?"

Kuroo only scoffed and shook his head with a grin. "I wasn't the one who shot him." 

" _You_ were the one who told me to!"

"That's for me to know only. What happens inside of my mind doesn't concern you." Kuroo replied bitterly. 

"I deserve to know! You know what I realized? You're a sick _bastard_ who only wanted to cause pain and grief for someone who really loved a man you _couldn't_. You took things too far and I wish I never even thought I had to listen to you! You of all people should know that Koutarou was never meant for you-"

"You think I didn't know that?" Kuroo suddenly yelled, throwing his head up to glare at Kenma. The blonde shrunk back in his seat, startled. "I didn't love him but I _wanted_ him!"

"Why, Tetsurou? You would never-"

"You don't know anything!" Kuroo screamed. "I _wanted_ to love Koutarou. I tried so fucking hard. Keiji ruined it all. I wanted to love him so bad just to see Keiji _hurt_." The raven choked out, slamming his fists against the table, struggling through the metal around his skin. 

"You...You're not the Tetsurou I fell in love with. You're not yourself." Kenma whispered. 

"I don't care anymore, Kozume." Kuroo snapped, looking back down.

"I loved you," Kenma continued. "I really did. But now...Now you're not what I want. You're _not_."

Kuroo sobbed then, making Kenma's gaze snap up. He watched as the man fell apart before him, unable to sob into anything but his knees. 

"I never am," the raven whispered through his tears. "For anyone."

And he could almost feel Koutarou at his shoulders again, patting his hair down softly and whispering to him,

 _"you almost were._ "

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...I lied. It's finally finished now.
> 
> And that's that! Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate all of the comments and kudos I have received. I enjoyed writing this and I can't help but feel sad that it is over. 
> 
> I will be writing more Bokuaka soon. (:

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first work on here, so I'm excited to begin posting chapters up soon!
> 
> I thought bokuaka would be a good ship to start with. I think I made a pretty good decision (-:
> 
> Updates will be somewhat slow, so bear with me!
> 
> Original work [here.](https://www.wattpad.com/story/102690829-craving-%2B-bokuaka)


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